Human Nature
by thebronzeEF
Summary: Buffy and Spike have finally managed to eradicate the demonic evil threatning their happiness, with their new daughter, but it seems impossible to take control of one thing they can't fight...time. **SEQUEL TO ALL I ASK** and **SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR**
1. Back To Normal

**A\N: This a sequel to All I Ask and Something To Live For so please read the previous installments to this trilogy if you haven't already. Thank you.**

* * *

"Dawn. Up. Now.", Buffy muttered sternly. Dawn moaned and rolled onto her front, covering herself with her sheets. She heard her sister's foot steps approaching and tugged the covers tighter.

"You want Spike to give you a lift? You need to get up."

"I don't feel so good", the girl grumbled. Buffy ripped the sheets from the bed.

"Sooner or later Dawn, that excuse is gonna get old. You chose to live out here with me and Spike so you gotta accept that you need to go to College."

Dawn sighed and forced herself to her feet.

"Fine..."

* * *

It had been an eventful 5 months. As soon as the hospital had alerted them of Dawn's condition, all 6 of the scoobies, including Alice, flew back to Greece to see her. It took Dawn several weeks to adjust to everything that had happened, after missing out on almost a year of her life, but she was ecstatic about her new position as aunty. Buffy and Spike barely had any time with Alice when Dawnie was around. About 3 months ago, Dawn had decided to go and live with Buffy and Spike back in Tenerife. As much as she loved Xander, her coma had made her realise how much she needed her blood family and how much they needed her. Of course they kept in close contact and he visited regularly but they'd mutually agreed that a relationship wasn't the best thing right now.

* * *

Angel had also turned up at the hospital, when Dawn awoke, and both Spike and Buffy knew they owed him an explanation to what he had walked in on a few days before. As predicted, he wasn't at all happy with the bleached vamp fathering Buffy's child but as he soon came to accept, he knew there wasn't anything he could do to change the facts.

* * *

Alice was growing perfectly normally. Happy and healthy as promised. Spike's humanity was becoming increasingly apparent too. He'd completely lost his ability to heal quickly and according to medical professionals, was now extremely fertile. However, as much as she tried, Buffy still couldn't hear the sound of anyone's breath but her own in the night.

* * *

All 4 of them were living comfortable lives in a new villa, with an extra 2 rooms, but still on the beach. As Spike promised over a year ago, he had found and secured a job to provide income for his family since Dawn was at college most of the time and only had a part time job, and Buffy was a full time mum.

* * *

"Bit, you ready yet?!", Spike called to her room about a half hour after Buffy had woken her.

"2 minutes! Geez!", she yelled back.

Spike noticed Buffy reaching the top of the stairs, a wailing Alice resting on her shoulder.

"Great! You woke the baby. It's gonna be a pain to get her back to sleep. You know she was awake half the night?", she sighed to her partner.

"Bugger. Sorry."

Spike made his way over, to the other side of the second floor of their home, towards Buffy and carefully took Alice from her. The vampire tried everything he could think of to calm his daughter down but she just became more upset.

"Come on, princess, what's up?"

Buffy pressed her lips together.

"Maybe she's in pain. I think she's started teething", Buffy guessed, reaching for the girl's hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. Spike held her closer.

"Poor little love", he whispered, gently kissing her warm temple.

Buffy recognised the familiar sound of the lock on Dawn's door clicking and took the fractionally calmer girl back into her arms.

"Go or you'll be late. She'll calm down in her own time."

Spike gave her a concerned look. "You sure? Can stay off for the day if you need me too. You don't have to do this on your own just 'cause I've got a job now."

Buffy shook her head insistently. "That's sweet but I got it. Warm milk sends her out like a light anyway."

Suddenly, Dawn was tugging on Spike's duster sleeve.

"C'mon daddy daycare, let's go."

He nudged her as she walked past.

"Watch it niblet. Don't have to take you anywhere y'know."

Buffy laughed, in turn causing Alice to giggle, the baby realising that something funny had arisen. An infectious smile spread across all 3 of the adults' faces as her laughter faded away.

"Be good for you're mum, kitten", Spike giggled, trying to get his laughter under control, as he rubbed a hand up and down his daughter's back.

Spike glanced at Buffy but she stopped him before he could open his mouth.

"For the millionth time, I'll be fine. Now go."

"Was actually gonna tell you that I loved you but my offer still stands...", he trailed off as he leant into capture her lips in a short but tender kiss.

Buffy chose to ignore his last comment. "Well in that case, I love you too."

"I bloody well hope so", he muttered jokingly as he started towards an impatient Dawn, but not before Buffy swatted him on the arm with her free hand.

* * *

Buffy had expected the days without Spike around to be lonely. In one sense they were, since she was so used to having him close, but in another they made her feel free. She finally felt capable of looking after Alice without the vampire having to constantly protect them both.

* * *

An hour or so later, Alice had drifted off in her mother's arms so Buffy was very very careful putting her back in her cot. The slayer was barely awake herself so dragged her heavy bones to the kitchen to put on a jug of coffee when she noticed the enormous pile of washing that Dawn had thoughtlessly dumped by the machine, colours not even separated from darks. The only problem with staying at home all day, every day was that she really was starting to feel like a typical housewife. Of course, she didn't mind cleaning up after herself and giving the house a quick once over every so often but it was becoming ridiculous. Looking after Alice was time consuming enough without having to clean up a majority of Dawn's mess almost all of the time. Spike helped out as much as he could but working from 9-5 plus an hour journey home didn't leave much time to get the chores done.

* * *

Spike arrived home that night to find Dawn, singing to a care free Alice on the rug by the roaring fireplace, and to hear Buffy rattling around in the kitchen, probably preparing dinner, more for Dawn than anyone else. She didn't notice him sneak in and creep up behind her as she kept her attention focused on the many pans sizzling on the stove in front of her. She shuddered in both shock and pleasure as she she felt the sensation of Spike's lips brushing her earlobe.

"Smells good", he whispered, lowering his chilled lips to her clavicle.

"You're late. Do you really deserve any of this delicious food?", she teased. Spike growled and squeezed her waist, causing her to flinch and almost spill the jug of water she was holding.

"Minx." He continued to tease her vulnerable flesh but she shrugged him off after putting the now empty jug down, turning to face him.

"Not now." She handed him 3 sets of cutlery. "Go set the table and maybe, just maybe, we'll continue this later", she suggested flirtatiously.

"Yes ma'am." With a sudden kiss, he had taken the cutlery from her and was in the front room.

* * *

Evening slowly turned into night and Buffy and Spike finally had some time to themselves. Dawn had happily agreed to look after Alice upstairs whilst the couple wound down. The fire had been topped up with wood to keep the house warm on the surprisingly bitter and bleak June night.

"We really need to do this more often", Buffy murmured sleepily into Spike's hair. They were currently tucked up on the sofa, Buffy on Spike's lap, one of his arms around her waist and the other resting on her thigh.

"Mm hm", he responded in the same drowsy tone. " Promise. From now on we'll make time. Sod work."

Buffy muffled a laugh, fiddling with a few strands of the vampire's slightly discoloured hair.

"Can't. We need the money. Especially now with your hair. You need more bleach", she joked.

Spike grasped his hair self consciously.

"You can't be bloody serious?"

Buffy didn't know why he looked so surprised.

"My hair doesn't grow. Hasn't in over 100 years. Never needed to redye it."

The pair stared at each other for a few seconds before it dawned on them what was happening. Buffy looked at the faint but still apparent bite mark on his wrist.

"The bite", Buffy started.

"Bugger!", Spike exclaimed, another puzzled look forming on Buffy's face.

"Means I have to go through all the fuss of bleachin' it again. Bloody nightmare it was."

Buffy huffed at him in amazement.

"That's all you can think about dummy? You could be starting to age. You know? Grow old with your family?"

"Might not even be permanent yet love so don't get too overexcited."

Buffy gawped at him.

"Why aren't you taking this seriously? This...thing in you is clearly spreading and you don't seem to want to know."

"Because I don't want you thinkin' that I'm suddenly just gonna change into this normal guy and give you and Alice a normal life 'cause I don't even know if that can even happen."

Buffy suddenly felt a pang of guilt inside her and immediately wanted to retract what she'd just said. She went to cup his cheek but he flinched away, clearly stung at the reminder of what he might never have, what he might have to lose.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I was just so convinced that this might change everything. I want this for you not just me. I know its what you want too."

Spike still didn't say anything but he seemed a little more relaxed. Buffy slumped back against the arm rest for few seconds before Spike came into eye contact with her, willing to talk again.

"Marry me."

Buffy's eyes were suddenly fixtated on him, her jaw had dropped and she was utterly speechless for a few seconds.

"W-what?", she stuttered.

"Realised that every second I have with you is important and I want us to have anything and everything. Promised you that we'd be as normal as we could...So marry me."

Buffy could feel waves and waves of tears threatening to spill and tried to sniff them back.

"Nothing would make me happier William."

Her using his name was a rarity. She'd only used it a few times before, mostly on some of the worst days of his life. Now finally, on one of the happiest days of his life...


	2. Sleep, Play, Plan

**A\N: Thank you Lauren for your work as my beta :)**

* * *

Saturday was always the best day of the week. Dawn was almost begging for cash, so jumped at the chance to babysit every Saturday morning, giving Buffy and Spike some rare few hours together. The mornings often began with long, overdue lie ins. Buffy awoke at around 9 to the glorious smell of fresh coffee originating from the table beside her bed. She wasted no time in stretching herself awake and lunging for the cup. There was no doubt that Spike, who had just emerged from the shower, made the best coffee she'd ever tasted in her life. She was surprised that he'd managed to drag himself out of the comfort of their haven.

"You're up early. Gonna make me breakfast too?", she messed with a hopeful grin.

Spike ran his fingers through his wet hair, his towel hanging dangerously low on his hips.

"Don't push you're luck sweetheart. Haven't had a proper day off in weeks. I ain't goin' anywhere." With that, he fell forward onto the bed and buried his head in a pillow. Buffy abandoned the now empty mug and shuffled over to him. She leant over and began nipping at his ear lobe, his damp skin sensitive to her warm, sweet breath.

"Guess I should get up...sort Dawn and Alice out with some food y'know." Buffy purposely started to sit up very slowly, trying to grasp the vampire's attention. As she expected, he pounced on her almost immediately, trapping her body beneath his own.

"You're not going anywhere either, Summers."

Buffy sighed but showed no sign of annoyance.

"You're really gonna need to stop calling me that soon."

Spike looked down at his new fiancée, smiling when he recalled memories of the night before.

"Old habits die hard."

Buffy suddenly turned the tables and spun them both over so that she was crouched over him, straddling his waist. She pushed his head back against the pillows as she moved her lips closer to him at an achingly slow pace, eventually planting them on his. Their tounges entwined almost immediately as their physical needs carried them away.

"We should really get up, shouldn't we?", he reiterated after a little while.

Buffy glared at him with a huge pout on her lips before noticing the glint of mischief in his eyes just as he overpowered her, yet again and slotted himself in between her legs.

"Got other ideas first..."

* * *

A couple of hours later, the couple were still in bed shortly after finishing their 'celebrations'. Buffy was resting her head on Spike's chest and his fingers were running up and down her arm. They were both still slightly out of breath, Spike of course by choice.

"Remind me to propose to you more often", Spike murmured into her hair, as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. He expected her to reprimand him for his remark but instead she simply giggled.

"Might have to. It's never been that good before."

"Better than that time at your 21st? Quality not quantity."

Buffy rolled onto her front and looked thoughtful.

"Y'know? I'm not sure. I think we need to go again to decide."

Spike brushed her hair out of her face, tenderly.

"That's my girl."

Suddenly, Alice's cries began to echo through the house. Both Buffy and Spike sighed.

"Maybe later love."

Buffy silenced him with a chaste kiss before correcting his sentence.

"Definitely later..."

* * *

"So when should we have it?"

Buffy was quizzing Spike on wedding plans as they sat on top of the bed, Buffy at the bottom end and Spike at the top. Little Alice lay between them, playing with a miniature rabbit toy.

Spike shrugged. "Got no clue. Can't say I thought about it before."

Buffy stopped in her tracks. "Before? You mean that wasn't just a spur of the moment thing last night?"

Spike shook his head. "Think I could come up with something that spontaneous? Nah, it came into my head a while back. Just couldn't decide when the right time to ask was."

Alice had now abandoned the plushie and was awkwardly shuffling her way across the covers towards her mother, obviously frustrated that she wasn't getting anywhere. The proud parents marvelled at the girl's determination as she continued to struggle.

"As I said, just like her mother. Stubborn as ever."

Buffy flinched a little at the word as she lifted the baby into her arms.

"Not stubborn. Persevering."

"Sounds better for her I suppose. Doesn't it kitten?"

Alice yawned in response as she went a little limp against Buffy's chest.

"So... how about next summer? Gives us loads of time to prepare", she suggested, reintroducing wedding talk.

"Its up to you. You're the one organising it all."

Buffy rocked Alice gently.

"If I didn't have my beautiful daughter in my arms... I'd be making you take that back." She almost whispered the last part of her sentence.

Spike appeared to have retreated.

"I was going to admit that I was joking and of course I want to help but I'm now questioning now whether to do that willingly or not", he replied, not exactly quietly.

Buffy smirked but pushed Alice's head further into the crook of her neck.

"Baby here. Enough with the 'talk'", she demanded, emphasising her last word.

"Babies pick up on everything y'know."

"Fair enough...So Summer it is then?"

Buffy smiled gleefully.

"As long as you're not thinkin' of dressin' up my kid in a ridiculous bridesmaid's dress", he added.

His bride-to-be made a disgusted face.

"You can count on it. I really don't get why some parents subject their children to that kind of torture."

"Egos, love. I think I know a thing or two about 'em", he admitted.

Alice snuggled down further into Buffy's arms, her breathing becoming softer as she relaxed. Both Buffy and Spike looked down at her.

"Think this one wants her beauty sleep."

"At least she's a sleeper and not a screamer."

"Hey!", Buffy squeaked.

"Now you've jinxed it."

Spike didn't really shoot her an apologetic look, not being a superstitious person. "Oh, she'll be fine."

"I hope you're right. We're gonna need as much sleep as we can get."

Spike shot her a devilish look.

"Now stop it. You know that's not what I meant..."


	3. The Big Moment

"Just tell me what it is?!", Buffy yelled, clinging onto the bed sheets as Spike desperately tried to yank them off of her.

"Wouldn't be a surprise then. Now do as you're told for once."

Spike had been teasing her all morning about a treat he had lined up but no amount of pleading or pleasing from her had made him give in. In retaliation, she had refused to move from the bed.

"You know I hate surprises. At least give me a clue."

Spike seemed to ignore her and let go of the sheets. By this point, she was hidden beneath them and assumed that he had given up on trying to get her up. Cautiously, she peaked above the covers to check if the coast was clear, scanning the main stretch of the room. She was slightly disappointed to realise that he had indeed given up on his pursuit of getting her up but at least now she could get some uninterrupted rest. She rolled onto her right to suddenly feel a pair of hands grab her, from behind, on the left. She let out a squeal as Spike lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. She tried to act irritated as she slapped his back and yelled at him to put her down but she couldn't stop laughing as he continued carrying her towards the bathroom.

"Spike!" She made a last ditch effort to wriggle free but she didn't expect the vampire to let go of his grip on her easily. The slayer barely had time to adjust to having her feet back on the ground when a jet of freezing cold liquid fell onto her. Spike had placed her in the shower and turned on the water. She gasped and grasped onto his arm, half tempted to slap and then drag him in there with her.

"This better be one hell of a surprise", she panted as the water began to slowly warm.

"Trust me. It will", he promised as he kissed her apologetically. He turned to leave but was stopped by his fiancée.

"Where do you think you're going? You have to make it up to me now", she demanded, suggestively.

He leant forward, snaking his arms around her waist.

"Later", he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "For now, you concentrate on getting ready."

Buffy gawped at him, water droplets running off every inch of her and the oversized button up she was wearing, now.

"Are you saying no to what I think you're saying no to?"

Spike said nothing. He only graced her with a sly wink as he left the cubicle. Grabbing a towel as he did so.

* * *

"We won't be long niblet. You can take care of Alice for an hour can't you?"

Dawn nodded, her head buried in her phone. "As long as you're back by 12. I've got class at 1."

"Shouldn't be a problem. Got other plans for your sister later."

Buffy blushed from across the room as she cuddled her daughter.

"And for the gazillionth time this week, ew", Dawn cringed.

As Spike slid on his duster, Buffy handed the excitable girl in her arms over to Dawn.

The slayer took the opportunity to have a quiet word with her little sister.

"You don't know where's he taking me do you?"

"No idea. Not often he gets up this early on a Sunday. How come you two have been extra clingy this week?"

Buffy shot Spike a sheepish look.

"Right, you ready?" Spike quickly tried to change the subject.

"Ready as I can be for something I don't know anything about."

She slipped her hand into his and gave it a small tug.

"C'mon. I might just have to consider patrolling again if you keep my stress levels this high for any longer."

Spike's eyebrows leapt.

"Don't you bloody dare. You've got a family now."

The warring pair didn't notice Dawn sneaking up on them.

"Go!" The girl ushered them towards the door, Alice still in her arms.

"The sooner you guys get back, the sooner I can find out what all the fuss is about too."

* * *

They had been driving, for what Buffy interpreted as hours, along a route that she was unfamiliar with. They were leaving the coast and she swore the land was becoming greener.

"Not much further now", Spike reassured, noticing her frustration. She took a heavy breath and slouched in her seat. She decided to change the subject in order to pass the time.

"Dawn deserves to know at some point. She says being a bridesmaid was a thing she only wanted to do when she was a kid but...I think she's still secretly hoping."

Spike kept his eyes on the road but smiled.

"So that's what you want then?"

Buffy looked puzzled. "Huh?"

He tried to explain. "A big do? Lots of people around? Wasn't sure whether you wanted something quiet and remote."

Buffy pressed her lips together and thought for a moment. She knew she wanted family and close friends there, Dawn, Willow, Xander and Giles, but could they really afford something big, regardless of whether she wanted it or not?

"I don't know. Not the biggest party person in the world but it's important to make this something to remember, right?"

The vampire took one of his hands off of the steering wheel and reached over to take one of hers. He squeezed it tightly.

"We can be in the back end of beyond, with nothing more than a handful of confetti and it'll still be amazing, love."

"The what end of where?"

Trust her to make a joke of it.

"I don't think I'll ever understand the British language. Why can't you all just speak normally?", she said, a thoughtful pout on her lips. Spike couldn't stay annoyed with her then. She always seemed so cute as she rambled on about things she didn't understand or she was cross with.

Without noticing for a moment, Spike had pulled up at their destination.

"We're here."

His passenger didn't look amused as she stared out at the rather steep hill, shaded by an enormous tree, they were facing.

"Next thing you know, you're gonna be telling me that you've started growing your own flowers up here behind my back for months. How could you?" She imitated a dramatic tone.

If she didn't know him any better, she would've sworn she saw him roll his eyes. That was usually her job.

"Funny, slayer. Why don't you just wait for a few more minutes yeah?"

The man jumped out of the car and begun to trek up the hill. Buffy gawped, still in her seat.

He expects me to climb that fucking thing? I don't even know what I'm doing here!

Within 30 seconds, she had caught up to him, panting heavily. She was out of practice when it came to exercise. Not only had giving up slaying contributed towards her unfitness but having a baby left little opportunity to get out.

"You. Definitely. Owe me..."

* * *

They had soon reached the top and were greeted with a spectacular view of the village that they'd driven through not too long ago.

"Worth the walk?", Spike asked.

Buffy had made her way over to the trunk of the tree and was now leaning up against it, still out of breath. Her arms were folded and her head lolled backwards.

"Give me a minute to get my brain functioning again and I might actually be able to make a decision."

He sighed at her melodramatic behaviour, clearly becoming as anxious as she was to reveal what he'd been hiding all morning. He walked towards her and took hold of her waist, adjusting her position slightly so that she wasn't leaning against the tree as much. He moved closer to her and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Both pairs of eyes fluttered shut.

"Now keep them closed", he whispered against her skin. She smiled, half in excitement and half in anticipation, her lips still on his. She felt him withdraw from the embrace and step back. She just stood there just resisting the urge to open her eyes and follow him.

About a minute passed.

"Open."

She obeyed and opened her eyes, taking mere seconds to adjust to the light before making out a small circular shape being held up in front of her. It was unclear, to her, at first what it was but then it dawned on her. The glee on Spike's face couldn't be missed as he realised that she realised what he was holding. The thin silver band shone in the indirect sunlight, the small yet brilliant kite shaped diamond on it glimmering. Before she even had time to react, Spike had reached for her left hand and lifted it to chest level. He held the ring at the tip of her finger.

"Before you go off on one, yes it was a little more than we could afford but I knew the second you said yes that I was gonna give you everything you deserve. Starting by doing this properly."

Even more shock came over Buffy then. Shock and horror.

"Oh my god. You're not getting on one knee for this are you?", she squeaked. Spike had to laugh.

"I love you with everything I've got Summers but there are some boundaries that I just won't cross."

The slayer barely processed what he was saying as she began laughing through her tears of joy.

"So, Buffy Anne Summers, will you do the honour of becoming my wife?"

The woman frantically nodded, not being able to form words at that moment in time.

"Of course it's yes!"

He already knew what her answer would be but his face lit up all the same, hearing it again.

Her outburst suddenly reminded them both of Willow's spell all those years ago when she'd uttered those exact same words. The ring fit her finger perfectly, suiting the shape and size of her slim digit. She had to do everything in her power not to leap into Spike's arms then. The kiss that followed may have just made up for the lack of leaping though.

* * *

Bearing in mind they'd promised Dawn that they'd be back in just over an hour, they made the most of the last half hour they had. They were sat curled up together by the tree, Buffy hardly being able to take her eyes off of her engagement ring. Her actions hadn't been unnoticed by Spike.

"Take it you like it then, love?"

She muffled a laugh.

"It's beautiful."

"Perfect person to wear it then."

She hid her face as she blushed slightly.

"So why here?", she suddenly asked.

"Heard some bloke at work talkin' about it."

"Making friends?"

"Nah. Bit of a git really."

Buffy glanced at her watch.

"We better be getting back. A promise is a promise."

Spike nodded, helping Buffy to her feet. "Although...later, we could pick up where we left off the last time we were engaged."

He reeled his fiancée in, his glorious lips dangerously close to her throat now. If they started, they knew they wouldn't be able to stop.

"Remember? Me. You. Cosy little crypt full'a demons?"

Buffy had to push him back a little.

"Sounds good. Just without the demons if possible."

"Deal..."


	4. Revelations and Celebrations

Buffy had wanted to tell Dawn, about the engagement, as soon as she and Spike got home, from their little trip but he convinced her to hide her ring from her until later that afternoon, when her sister got back from class. They could have a celebratory evening then.

Alice was keen to have her mother around again and started giggling with excitement when she entered her room upstairs, shortly after Dawn had left.

"Hey, princess. You been a good girl for Aunty Dawn?"

Of course, the girl not knowing what was being said, continued to squeak and squeal and was now determined to escape the confines of her cot.

"Alright, little miss impatient." Spike had now stepped forward and was reaching for his daughter.

"That better?", he asked, after lifting her out and sitting her up in his arms. A huge grin spread across her face and she rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the comfort of his hold.

"I can't believe how lucky I got", Buffy reminisced, stroking Alice's cheek.

Spike turned his head to look at her.

"Me, finally finding happiness, being able to have a child with the man I love."

Spike looked surprised.

"Where's all this coming from, pet?"

She smiled, not taking her eyes off of Alice.

"Nowhere. Just thinking about things I guess."

"I think I should be the one saying I'm lucky. Takes a rare woman to fall for a vampire."

"Not just any vamp. You have a soul. Even when you didn't, you were more human than demon. You loved me, helped me, saved me in every way all without a soul. You changed the rules. So, I'm the lucky one to have won the heart of such a unique, kind man." The slayer was stunned by the poet in her.

"You forgot handsome", he butted in.

A huge smile appeared on her mouth. "That too, obviously." She stood on tiptoes, to guarantee that her next sentence was only heard by his ears.

"Why do you think I'm so desperate to get you into the bedroom right now?"

The vampire glanced at the sunshine shaped clock, on the table next to Alice's clock.

"Dawn's not due back for another hour and a half or so."

Alice looked pretty sleepy in her father's arms, obviously not being disturbed by the voices in the room. They tucked the girl back up in her bed.

"Sweet dreams, kitten", he whispered to the baby...

* * *

The pair made sure that they'd finished their activities and were ready in plenty of time of Dawn's arrival.

"How do you think she'll take it?", Buffy asked, tucking in her blouse.

"If I know the niblet, she'll have booked the venue, dress and band before I have you back in that bed again."

"Even by Dawnie's standards, that'd be fast."

He growled and squeezed her waist from behind.

The familiar jangle of keys could be heard from the other side of the main door and in stepped a fed up looking teenager.

"Who's idea was it for me to take Politics?"

Buffy and Spike looked at each other and spoke in unison.

"Yours?"

"Yeah...but you went along with it. Why didn't you warn me about how fucking boring it is?"

Buffy moved away from Spike and started to make her way across the room, speaking as she did.

"Okay. A, I never actually got far enough into College to find out. B, I think Politics was a little different in Spike's time. And C, watch your language."

Dawn typically rolled her eyes.

"Anyway", Buffy continued.

"Me and Spike have something to tell you."

Spike had joined them now and Dawn suddenly forgot about the boring world of Politics, her attention focused on the pair.

"Yuh huh?"

The room stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"Oh my gosh! You're pregnant again aren't you?!"

"Not bloody likely, bit!", Spike confirmed.

Buffy simply held up her ring hand and waggled her fingers.

Neither of them expected the sort of reaction that Dawn had. They knew she'd be excited but damn, she was almost bouncing around all over the room. She was still just a big kid at the end of the day.

* * *

After calming her down, all 4 members of the family went out for a meal. It was a rare treat since they didn't have a lot of time to and they couldn't afford to do it on a regular basis. It was Buffy's choice of restaurant, the place where she and Spike ate when first arriving in Tenerife, when she was just a little over 2 months pregnant with Alice. The place held a good memory. They'd first started coming up with potential baby names on the back of a napkin here.

They sat in the exact same booth and in the exact same positions.

"So have you thought of a date yet?", Dawn asked, slurping on a milkshake.

Spike half nodded, his arm around Buffy's shoulders.

"Sort of."

"We've decided next Summer. Not sure of the date yet", Buffy continued in his place.

Dawn looked a little concerned.

"But...what about the sun? You know how scorchio summers can get here."

"We'll work around it. We have done for the last year."

The trio were interrupted by Alice letting them know of the food's imminent arrival.

"Jeez Dawn, did you not feed her today?"

Dawn scowled at her sister.

"Of course I did! I gave her a second helping, she was so hungry."

Either way, the baby's hands dived straight into her food, as soon as the bowl was placed on the tray of her highchair.

"No, sweetie!", Buffy giggled. She shuffled along the seat, around to the highchair and began cleaning up the mess before feeding her.

They were home by 9 and Alice was still wide awake unlike Dawn, who was the sleepy one instead.

"I think we need to stop letting her sleep during the day", Spike suggested, stripping of his shirt. Buffy was already changed and tucked up in bed, Alice still wriggling in her lap.

"Yeah. If she stays with us tonight, do you think she'll keep quiet?"

The vampire joined her under the covers and looked at their baby.

"Guess we'll find out. Bein' parents is all about trying out new things, right?"

The pair snuggled down, Alice now in between them.

"Here goes nothing."

Buffy smirked.

"You've still got work tomorrow, big guy."

"Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart."

They were just about visible to each other, over Alice's body and suddenly, they realised that she had stilled. Her soft breathing was a comfort to them both.

"Shoulda' known. Our girl is a sleeper..."


	5. Shattered

A/N: Please read this warning before continuing. This chapter centers on a very distressing topic and I want you to be aware that although I do not go into detail, some people may still find it upsetting and very close to their own experiences.

Some may ask why I'm writing about this subject then but honestly, life doesn't go smoothly and I want to show this in the most realistic way I can.

Please let me know if I've handled this chapter well in the reviews and if there's anything vital that I've missed. I apologise if I've caused any upset in advance.

* * *

The bathroom had never seemed as big as it did as Buffy struggled to crawl across the floor towards the door. Even when she'd reached it, the crippling pains in her lower half made it almost impossible to reach up and unlock it. Spike was doing his best to break in but his strength decline made this much harder, maybe even impossible. With one final extremely painful stretch, Buffy flicked the lock and collapsed onto the floor again. She was half blocking the entrance so the vampire had to squeeze in through the tiny gap he created. He was horrified by the sight before him. Buffy, curled up on her side and her face as white as a sheet. He could smell the blood before he could see it.

"Oh my god, Buffy," he almost gasped as he knelt down beside her and cradled her tensed frame.

"Dawn's called an ambulance. They'll be here any minute. Just hold on, love."

Another wave of pain rushed over the slayer and she spasmed about in her lover's arms, trying to get through the next few seconds. And then the next. And then the next. The last thing she remembered was looking up at Spike's terrified face as her eyelids slowly fluttered shut...

3 hours later...

The intimidating beep of a heart rate monitor was what eventually brought Buffy round. She squinted as she adjusted to the light of the room she was now in. The smell of antiseptic, which she associated with a hospital, made her feel sick to her stomach. The cramping had died down a little but it still hurt to move.

She changed the angle of her head to see Spike sitting over her, huge dark circles under his eyes, that weren't there before.

"Hey, pet," he whispered, reaching for her limp hand.

"Hmm?" she grumbled in response, still very dazed and confused. "What's goin' on?"

Spike sighed, softly, as he squeezed her hand, his other one reaching to brush her cheek.

"Just try and get some sleep, okay?"

Even at her weakest, she was still as stubborn as ever.

"No. I need to know. I need t.." She trailed off suddenly feeling very sleepy. It felt like the effect of some sort of drug. Spike looked over his shoulder, seemingly communicating with someone. She couldn't tell but she tried her best to take a look. Of course, the agony she was in prevented that and was forced to lay back down again. A quiet mewl escaped her lips, loud enough for only Spike to hear. He turned back to her without a second thought.

"Don't try to move. Please just get some sleep."

Buffy was becoming increasingly agitated as he continued to deny her any explanation as to why she was here in a hospital bed, racked with pain and scared out of her mind why he wasn't telling her anything. He never did this.

"Spike, please," she whimpered, tears coursing down her cheeks.

His once brilliant blue but now dulled eyes, looked down at her with sadness, his heartbreak clearly showing in them.

"Buffy..."

3 and a half hours ago...

"That was so cheating!" Dawn yelled at Spike, as he revealed his playing cards.

"You keep tellin' yourself that, bit. I won fair and square."

"Stop yelling you two. Like I didn't have a splitting headache already."

"Sorry," Dawn grumbled. "Its just...he couldn't have won that without cheating somehow. Didn't you say he used to cheat at kitten poker?"

Spike shot Buffy a menacing look.

"Hey! Thought we agreed to keep that to ourselves, love?"

"Must've just slipped out", she admitted, very distantly. Spike abandoned his handful of cards and got up from the table, making his way over to Buffy. He brushed his hands up and down her arms.

"You sure you're alright? You seem a bit off."

Buffy nodded, insistantly.

"Yeah. Maybe I'm coming down with something, I don't know"

He kissed her forehead, tenderly.

"Why don't you go for a lie down?"

"I'm not tired. Maybe I'll go for a bath."

"Want me to run it for you?"

"Nah. I got it. You keep the sore loser here company."

"Hey!" Dawn whined.

"Let me know if you need anything yeah?", he asked.

"Yeah..."

3 and a half hours later...

"Spike, please."

"Buffy..."

The wait was starting to become more agonising than the physical pain.

Tears glistened in his eyes as he clearly struggled to find words.

"Just know that none of this is your fault. Promise me, you won't put this on yourself."

How can I when I don't understand?"

Then there was silence.

"Love...You've lost a little one."

Buffy shook her head.

"I don't understand."

"You've had a miscarriage..."


	6. Getting Through

A/N: Continued distressing theme with angst, please be aware.

* * *

This didn't make sense. Buffy shuffled around uncomfortably, shaking her head in denial still.

"They must've got it wrong. I would've known if I was pregnant. Remember how early the signs were with Alice!"

Spike continued to caress her cheek as he shook his head back at her.

"Doctor said you don't always follow suit. Some people can be months along and not notice."

The slayer fought back with other reasons but she knew deep down that what her fiancé was telling her was true, eventually.

"I didn't do anything wrong. Why did I lose it?" The tears of realisation, that were destined to stay with her for weeks, begun to build up in her sore eyes. Immediately, both of his hands moved to cup her face, as if to make sure that she understood straight away.

"You didn't do anything. Sometimes these things just happen and there's nothing anyone can do. Ask anyone and they'll tell you its almost impossible to pin down a reason for it."

Somehow, this didn't make her feel any better. She'd still lost her baby, not even knowing it existed.

"But I wasn't even able to love it, it doesn't even know that I want to love it!" The devastated woman was sobbing uncontrollably now, her cries echoing around the room. Spike leant over and buried his face in her hair, hugging her as best he could, with her lying down.

"It knew. Babies know things."

Buffy's arms joined around his back, pulling him closer to her, even though they were already body to body.

"2 months. How could I not have known. What if something could've been done to stop it i-"

Spike silenced her.

"Buffy, stop it. Even if you knew, you would've still been where you are now. These things are just natural."

"Why? What's the point in creating life if it's only gonna be taken away again before it's even had a chance to live."

She could start to hear Spike sniffing now. She'd not forgotten but didn't think about how torn up inside Spike was about all this too. They'd both lost their child. He was the one who'd found out about this all on his own whilst she was unconscious.

Neither said anything for next few minutes as they continued to mourn in each other's arms...

* * *

Dawn had been sitting in the waiting area, with Alice since Buffy was admitted. She wasn't allowed multiple visitors at the time and the youngest Summers had agreed that Spike was the one who needed to be by Buffy's side right now. The little girl in her arms had stayed awake, surprisingly, during all the chaos. Maybe it was because of the strange place she was in.

She had resisted the urge to check up on them for the last hour or so but she was really starting to worry about her sister. Spike hadn't had the time to tell her what was wrong with Buffy, not leaving Buffy's side. The last thing he wanted was for her to wake up alone.

Oh, screw it.

She wrapped Alice further up in her blanket and crept round the corner to Buffy's room. The blinds were half shut but she was able to peak through. Spike was laid beside Buffy, her head tucked under his chin. He was slowly but rhythmically stroking her hair, his other hand linked with hers. Every now and then he would kiss her knuckles, holding them to his lips afterwards. She couldn't see her sister's face, however. This seemed really serious. She was torn between knocking and leaving them in peace for a while longer. Even if she decided to go in there, maybe it wasn't the best idea to take Alice with her, if the situation really was that delicate but of course, she couldn't leave the baby on her own! Alice poked her Aunty but got no response so continued to jab her to get her attention. Eventually, she looked down at the child. She didn't know why but she could tell from the face she was making that she was hungry. She was starting on solids but still relied on Buffy for a good 80% of her meals.

"Okay. But if I'm on the receiving end of any funny looks, this is on you."

She found the courage to knock lightly on the door but left it a few seconds before entering. Spike and Buffy both looked in her direction and Dawn found herself going a little red.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't have interrupted. Its just, Alice is getting all...rumbly and everything."

"It's okay," Buffy croaked. Dawn noticed that she wasn't even putting on a fake smile, like she usually did when something was wrong. Spike took a moment to lean in towards Buffy and whisper something in her ear. She nodded in agreement.

"Give 'er here, niblet," he said, reaching to take the baby from her. "I think you and you're sis need a word."

Dawn nodded, not really understanding what she was agreeing to.

"Hey, Dawnie."

Dawn smiled, half heartedly.

"You're probably wondering what's been going on."

She didn't say anything. She only moved to sit down next to her when she patted the bed.

"I don't really think I can deal with the all the talk right now so I'm just going to tell you straight out." The tears threatened to spill again and Dawn was looking increasingly concerned.

"What's happened, Buffy? You're scaring me."

Buffy suddenly felt awful and brushed her little sister's hair behind her ear.

"No, don't be scared, Dawnie. There's nothing to be scared for."

Dawn silently urged her sister on.

"I've had a miscarriage."

Dawn suddenly went stiff.

"I've lost a baby", she squeaked as she started to cry again.

"Oh, Buffy...I'm...I'm so sorry. God, I had no idea you were..."

"I didn't either. I didn't have any symptoms this time."

Dawn was starting to weep too and the women fell into an embrace.

After a minute or so, Dawn had gotten her emotions, relatively, in check but Buffy was still bawling, slowly going limp in her little sister's arms as she thought about it all even more.

"We'll get through this, Buffy. We're all strong and we can do this."

Buffy didn't say anything but at that moment, she felt as if she could never move on, as if she'd be stuck feeling like this forever...

* * *

Buffy'd managed to contain herself enough to give Alice her feed but feared the tears were far from over.

"Don't think I'm ever going to neglect you because of this, sweetie."

She rocked her daughter from side to side as her little eyelids slowly fluttered shut.

"This only makes you all the more important. Me and daddy love you more than anything and that is one thing I promise will never change."

The slayer didn't notice a nurse enter the room before she spoke up.

"I'm sorry Miss Summers but it's important that you rest."

She didn't need to ask what the nurse was telling her to do.

"Do you want me to ask your partner to take her?"

Buffy nodded before looking back down at Alice.

"You keep daddy company now. He needs lots of hugs. Not just any hugs. Special ones from you."

"Indeed he does."

The slayer looked up to see Spike standing at the foot of the bed.

"Take her home. Make sure she gets a proper sleep."

"I'm not leaving you here on your own, pet."

"I'll be sleeping, I won't need company. You, Alice and Dawn need to get freshened up and a proper night's sleep in a bed."

Spike knew it was pointless arguing with her. He also knew she was right. He simply walked up to her and held his family in his arms.

"You make sure you get some sleep then. No bad dreams, promise me."

Buffy nodded. The only way he knew that she did was from the motion of her hair against his neck.

"Good."

He hesitated for a moment but leant into press his lips against his fiancée's. Their caress was full of need and sympathy and almost started the waterworks again but they pulled away before it could happen.

"Come on, kitten."

The baby tried to hang on to her mum's hospital gown but her plan was foiled by her dad. She started to cry as she was carried away, her distraught little face, over Spike's shoulder, breaking Buffy's heart even more.

"Maaaaaa", she wailed. That's when Spike stopped dead in his tracks and looked to Buffy and she looked back at him. Her first word. That was when the nurse appeared in the doorway, insisting that all visitors had to leave, again. Spike nodded before giving Buffy an apologetic look. The nurse did the same before also exiting the room and closing the door firmly behind her. Buffy could hear her child's cries all the way down the corridor and a lonesome tear dripped down her cheek. She feared that tonight was going to be the loneliest night of her life..


	7. Useless

A/N: More angst...sorry...

* * *

Buffy had been discharged from hospital the following day, after doctors said they could do nothing more and to let nature take its course. The heartbroken women wanted to spend all day hiding away in the bedroom and Spike didn't have the heart to suggest otherwise. She was grieving and dealing with things in her own way. He had to take an extended leave of absence from work, which left them worrying, financially, for the future. Buffy knew she should help out, so that Spike could return to work, but she didn't feel that her useless body could do anything anymore. She was afraid that she would spontaneously not be able to feed Alice one day, for no particular reason. She'd just stop being able to provide the food her daughter needed. Her body couldn't even keep a child so it could happen.

The only times she didn't feel as hopeless was when she and Spike would come together. He was reluctant to a majority of the time, knowing what she was trying to achieve. It hadn't been the first time she'd used him to feel better about herself and although he knew it was different this time around, he couldn't help but feel that it wasn't...

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered one night, shortly after she and Spike had finished making love. Spike didn't say anything but pulled her closer.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like this. I know what it reminds you of."

"But it's not," Spike responded. "I know it isn't. So do you and that's all that matters."

"I just can't stop thinking about everything. Every time I replay what's happened in my head, the guilt just gets worse."

"Baby, you need time. We all do. It won't feel like this forever. You'll always remember but the pain will be a distant memory one day."

The slayer curled up further into his embrace, wanting desperately to sleep but not sure if she was going to be able to.

"Would we ever tell Alice?"

Spike stiffened at the thought.

"I mean, she's too young to remember but I feel like we shouldn't keep it from her."

Spike ran his fingers up and down the back of her neck. "Maybe but its not something we need to worry about now."

The slayer continued to trace patterns on Spike's chest with her fingernail, for a little while longer, before wrapping her arm around his waist and closing her eyes.

"Night, my love", he whispered against her skin. He swore that he saw her smile then for the first time in a week.

* * *

"Please stop crying," Buffy sighed in exasperation. Alice had been fed, changed and had slept for over 10 hours but she still wouldn't stop wailing. It was so typical that she'd chosen this night to keep her mother up. It was the first one, since their loss, that she'd had a full night's sleep. Spike had offered to take care of their girl but he had been rejected by the insistent mother.

"C'mon, sweetie. What's wrong? I've tried everything!"

The baby didn't even give her mum as much as a helpful look and her cries only became louder. Buffy growled whilst rocking Alice, half-heartedly now, and then snapped.

"Please just be quiet!"

She didn't notice Spike standing behind her.

"Love."

Buffy suddenly felt very regretful.

"She's just a baby. She doesn't know any better."

"I know. I didn't mean it."

Spike had approached her now and was reaching for their precious daughter.

"Get some sleep, pet."

Buffy was reluctant.

"No, I've got her."

"Go to bed, Buffy."

The slayer was stunned by the harshness in his tone.

"I just mean...it would be better if you did. You obviously haven't gotten enough kip."

She was still too stunned to find many words.

"Yeah. I know."

It hurt to see Spike holding Alice so protectively then...

* * *

Buffy frantically tried to wipe any evidence of tears away when she felt Spike's presence outside of the bathroom door. She couldn't recall why she didn't lock it.

"Buffy?

"Uh huh?"

"Can I come in?"

Buffy'd decided she didn't want him seeing her like this anymore. She opened the door and smiled briefly before walking past him and reassuring him that she was alright. He barely had the time to stop her before she'd jumped back into bed and disappeared under the covers purposely to hide her face.

"Alice asleep?" she asked, the sheets muffling her words.

"Yep. Think she just needed a hug."

He slipped in next to his fiancée and pulled the covers down off of her face. She wasn't crying but he could tell that she had been.

"I know we've suspected it before but I'm pretty sure she can tell when we're upset."

Buffy nodded before bursting into tears again. So much for not crying in front of him anymore.

"I'm sorry for snapping."

"No. You had every right to. I just can't believe I shouted at her. She was doing nothing wrong. Just being her."

Spike pressed his lips to her eyelid and lingered for a few seconds, his warm breath on her skin a comfort for some bizarre reason.

"When will it get better, Spike? Nothing's ever hurt as much as this does. I just want this hole in my chest to heal. I just want it all to stop."

"So do I, pet. Doesn't hurt just because of the baby."

Buffy flinched.

"It kills me seeing you like this. I'd take all of your hurt and keep it for myself if I could. Just as long as you and Alice are happy and healthy."

The slayer made a gap between herself and the vampire and looked up at him.

"I love you so much. I wouldn't be able to get through anything without you. You've given me everything...Give me everything."

"Likewise, Summers..."


	8. Happy Birthday

Buffy woke the next morning to a pleasurable sensation on the left curve of her stomach. Spike was trying to subtly wake her. His hand had slipped under her shirt and was stroking the skin lightly, knowing she liked it when he did this.

"Happy birthday, pet," he whispered. She rolled over to face him, her hand brushing his cheek.

"Huh? Its not my birthday until January."

"But it is."

Buffy was extremely confused. "I think I would know if it had been a year since I'd had my baby, Spike."

Spike looked as puzzled as she did. He was totally convinced that it was January, wasn't he? Buffy's attention was drawn to a woman standing in the archway of the bedroom. She was quite thin with dark brown curls. She must've been in her late thirties, early forties. She also had the most piercing sapphire blue eyes. They were the most recognisable pair Buffy'd ever come across.

She couldn't believe it.

"Alice?"

Her daughter smiled.

"Hey, mum. Happy birthday."

The woman didn't have as strong an American accent as Buffy. There was clearly some of her father's beautiful British in it.

What the hell was going on? She looked back to Spike, who's eyes were still fixed on her. Could he not see their now grown up daughter standing before them?!

"Still as beautiful as ever. Don't look a day older to me."

Suddenly, a mirror appeared in front of the slayer out of nowhere.

Her once golden hair was now thin and grey, her skin had shriveled up and her eyes had lost all sense of youth and were now just plain brown.

"What?" she started. She stopped when she realised the state of her voice. All croaky and hoarse, like her late grandmother's. All the time, Spike kept looking at her like everything was perfectly normal, his youthful features still frozen in time. She looked around the room to discover abnormal amounts of tables, surrounding the bed, full of photo frames. The pictures started off with Buffy's young self and a baby Alice. As she moved her eyes along the tables, her and Alice both grew older but Spike stayed the same. When she'd finished the row, Alice moved to stand at the end.

"We had the greatest of times didn't we?" her girl asked. Buffy couldn't respond. She hadn't experienced any of it so how could she know? Spike spoke after a silence.

"She doesn't remember Alice, sweetheart. You know what the doctors said. Your mum struggles to recall things now."

The slayer was frustrated, not being able to communicate and began to cry without even realising.

"It's alright, pet. Don't try to talk."

Buffy closed her eyes for a second and opened them to find that both Spike and Alice had disappeared.

"Spike?" she choked. "Alice?" The space around her began to fade into black and suddenly enveloped her.

* * *

That's when Buffy jolted awake. She had been sweating and was panting profusely. She knew it had only been a dream almost immediately after waking but her body didn't seem to be listening to her brain, as it was still shaking.

"You're alright, love." Spike had obviously been shaken out of his slumber, by her sudden movements, and now had his arms around her and his lips to her shoulder blade. His attempted comfort only made things worse. It made her feel as if the dream was repeating on her again. She couldn't breathe.

"Get off me!" she yelled and leapt out of the bed to get as far away from it as she could. She barely registered Spike's both stunned and crushed face as she pressed her back up against a wall.

"Alice." Her mumbling was too quiet for Spike to hear but he bolted straight after her as she flew up the stairs to their daughter's room. Dawn had also emerged from her room, due to the shouting, and watched in utter confusion as Buffy lifted a half asleep Alice from her crib and held her tightly in her arms. She uttered some comforting to words to the girl, more for herself than anyone else.

* * *

It was earlyish morning when the household had been woken so no one bothered to go back to sleep. They all just focused on trying to calm Buffy and get her to tell them what was troubling her. She eventually managed to explain her dream to Spike, in a way that he understood, but she seemed more taken with it's meaning than him.

"I know it was only a dream but...it could happen one day. I mean, you're still not aging, you've got no heartbeat. What if the Ravix's bite never makes you fully human? Giles says its never happened before."

She hoped he'd come up with a response but instead he just sat there, eyes to the floor.

"This is what I was afraid of. I didn't want you getting your hopes up about it all."

"There's gotta be another way of making you human. I know I said I didn't care about whether you were or not and I still don't, really, but..." How did she end that sentence?

"You don't need to explain. I know how you feel. But don't you think that I would've heard of something that turns vamps back into humans?"

She nodded in disappointment. She was the slayer for crying out loud. Of course she would've heard, if such a thing existed, from Giles.

"The thought of havin' to go on living without you is my worst nightmare. The idea of bloody staking myself wouldn't be far off."

Buffy went to protest.

"But if it were to come to that, I'd still have Alice to look after. No way in hell would I leave her on her own. That would be the most selfish thing I could do."

What else was there to say?

"Guess all we can do now is hope for something that might not happen or we can focus on what we have."

Buffy started fiddling with his knotted fingers.

"Screw next summer," she sighed.

"What?"

"I don't wanna wait. I want us to get married before the month's up."

Spike looked genuinely stunned. Even with everything they were going through, she was still determined to make it through the other side. God, he loved this woman...


	9. Flow

A/N: Things start to look up from this chapter so bear with me...

* * *

"What about that one?" Dawn asked.

"If I want to be labelled 'slut of the year' then sure, that's a great choice."

Dawn was making sure that Buffy threw herself into wedding plans all day, every day for the next few weeks, and they were currently surrounded by dress catalogues. The bride and groom-to-be had set a date for the last day of July and it was already the 10th.

"It's not that bad! I actually think its quite pretty."

Buffy rolled her eyes but looked back at the page. "Forget the dress, look at the price! We can pay for half the wedding for that amount!"

Dawn realised that they'd reached the end of yet another magazine so she tossed it aside and picked up another.

"I still can't get my head around it. You...getting married. To Spike of all people!"

"I think I'm beyond that stage. It feels so normal. So right now. Feels like there was never anyone else but him."

Dawn smiled and opened the book to a random page. That's when Buffy saw it. The most beautiful gown she had ever seen.

"What?" Dawn questioned, noticing her sister's mesmerised expression. She followed the woman's gaze to the page and picked it up.

"That's it, Dawnie. That's the one." She'd looked through maybe hundreds of dresses this week and none had given her the excitement this one had.

Dawn read the description. "Its vintage, apparently. Hand stitched. And, not as expensive as most of ones we've found so far, surprisingly."

The pair studied the dress for a while longer, admiring every curve, every inch of the silky fabric.

"You're pretty taken with it, huh?"

Buffy nodded. "It's perfect."

Dawn clapped her hands. "Well, that's one thing done. Next is..." She began scanning her mental checklist. "Bridesmaid dresses!" she squeaked.

"Surprise, surprise."

The sisters swiveled around, on their places on the living room floor, and noticed Spike standing by the main door, obviously just arriving home from work. Buffy had insisted that he return, especially now they had a wedding coming up. Dawn quickly snatched up their current catalogue and shoved it behind her back. Spike looked suspicious.

"Wedding stuff. It's bad luck to see the dress before the wedding day."

"I'm pretty sure the bride has to be in it for it to be bad luck, niblet, but if you insist," he corrected, leaning in to kiss Buffy, who had jumped up to greet him.

"All I can say is that its gorgeous and you're not going to be able to take your eyes off her."

The vampire looked down at his future wife. "Can't take my eyes off of her, most of the time."

Buffy blushed.

"Where's my best girl?" he asked.

"Upstairs playing with her new plushie, I think," Dawn responded.

"Ohh no. We've got venue plans to discuss first, mister."

Spike sighed. "I've just got in the door, woman. Am I not allowed to see my own daughter now?"

"I've been waiting days to sit down and talk about venues with you."

"Okay." His reply was to simple for Buffy's liking. He clearly had something else on his mind. Something meant to change her own. She realised too late, just as Spike swooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom in a hold that even she had no chance of getting out of.

"Give us a minute or sixty, bit."

Dawn cringed as he kicked their bedroom door shut. "Ew..."

* * *

About an hour and a half later, Buffy emerged from the shower, her wet, wavy hair hanging down to her shoulders, just above where her towel started. Spike still hadn't gotten up, comfortably nestled in a sea of sheets. Any thought of removing himself from the bed disappeared from his mind, in an instant, as he closely watched the gorgeous woman .

"Now," she started. "Venues."

Spike wasn't thinking clearly if he thought he could change Buffy's mind about something with a quickie. He sighed as she clambered onto his lap, straddling his hips so that he couldn't escape.

"Do we want it local? Or do we want to fly out to somewhere remote and romantic?" she pondered, winding her arms around his neck.

"Depends on what type of weddin' you want. You still haven't told me whether you've made a final decision about it being low key or not."

"Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, Alice, you, me. We're not having any of Willow's slayer friends from England."

Spike looked offended at the very idea. Although Buffy was the one urging him about venue talk, he could see in her face that she was struggling for ideas too.

"Close your eyes, pet."

"Wait...what? Why?"

"Just close them."

Buffy obeyed and let her lids flutter shut.

"Take a couple of minutes to think about where your dream setting is for a wedding. The environment, the people. Just let everything flow in that cute little noggin' of yours."

Buffy laughed, softly, but didn't lose focus. It was weird how she suddenly pictured herself standing on a pier, in the beautiful vintage gown, surrounded by a crystal clear ocean and golden sand. The pier was sheltered, for Spike, but she could still feel the glorious sun on her face. The scoobies were also in their finest, her little girl in a simple pastel pink dress with a bow. Oh, and then there was Spike. Man, did he look a vision in his tux. Plain black with a simple white shirt and flower attached to him. His hair was slicked back and he was the happiest she'd ever seen him. Buffy decided to open her eyes then. Spike was still looking at her, eagerly waiting to hear her ideas.

"Know any good piers?"

Spike seemed a little surprised.

"I'm sure we can find one, love."

"You're okay with a beach wedding then?"

"Spend enough time near them don't I?" he stated, glancing at the shore out of the window.

"That doesn't answer my question. Do you want this? It's as much your wedding as mine."

"As long as I've got somewhere to hide from, my old mate, the sun I'm good to go."

"I think we can figure something out."

The vampire began wrapping his fingers around the ends of Buffy's sodden hair.

"You gonna let me dry it?" he whispered. She nodded and spun around so that she had her back to him. He started off by gently combing his fingers through it.

"You're doing so well, love."

The slayer immediately knew what he was talking about. "I've had to. I can't keep crying. Can't keep spending all my time doing nothing. Not just for my sake but for everyone else's. Besides..." She leant backwards against his shoulder and swiveled her head to the left, slightly, to kiss his jaw. "I'm getting married in 21 days. I should be celebrating."

"You shouldn't be forcing yourself to feel anything. Be honest with me."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I genuinely feel better. I want to be excited and celebrate and that's what I'm doing. I think about the baby every day but the pain gets less and less every time I do. You were right." She hadn't noticed that Spike had completely brushed her tangles away now.

"Told you." His tone was completely caring. He suddenly started massaging her scalp, causing her to let a pleasurable moan escape.

"How are you so good at that?" Her limbs had gone completely limp now.

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe you just like it so much."

Buffy's head lolled backwards as she gave up on words. They were both jolted from their bubble by Dawn's knock at their door.

"One second!" Buffy called out as she went to retrieve her bath robe. "Yep?"

The girl poked her head round. "There's someone at the door to see you. Well, multiple someones."

"We're not expecting visitors."

"Just, come on."

"Dawnie, I'm not dressed!"

"They won't care!" Dawn had grasped her sister's hand now and was tugging her into the front room. That's when Buffy looked straight ahead and saw Willow and Xander, by the front door. As if their presence wasn't surprising enough, a skinny, dark haired woman in a crop top, denim jacket and a tight pair of jeans stood behind them.

No way...

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the lack of a wedding dress description. I'm going to leave your imaginations running wild for a little longer.


	10. Lodger

"What? I mean how?" Buffy couldn't do anything but stare at the fellow slayer standing in her doorway.

"How's it hanging, B? Long time, no see."

"Faith?"

Faith grinned and waved her hand. "Surprise."

"What are you doing here? I thought you were still at home?"

"Yeah, well. A little birdie told me that the witch and pirate, here, were paying you a visit. Thought I'd drop by. We need a catch up, right?"

Xander glared at Faith for her choice of nickname.

Suddenly, Spike appeared from out of the bedroom, to see what was going on and in turn making his presence known. He was still adjusting his shirt. Faith took this in, as well as his messed up hair and Buffy's robe and put two and two together.

"Way to go, B! Guess it was kinda obvious that the whole vibe hadn't died down between you two."

"Died down? How did you know about us before?" Then it hit her. Spike and Faith's cosy little conversation in the basement, back in Sunnydale, had been cosier than she thought.

"Bet Giles wasn't too happy when he found out you were at it again."

Buffy bit her lip and looked to Willow. "She doesn't know?"

The wicca looked bashful. "Well...she didn't really give us much time to explain. She just jumped in the back of our car at the airport. We had no idea she was here!"

"Explain what?" Faith jumped in again. At that moment, Dawn had begun to make her way down the stairs. No one had even seen her go up in the first place. But she wasn't alone. Alice was in her arms. Faith watched in confusion until Dawn handed the baby over to her older sister and noticed the maternal spark, that had ignited in her eyes. That was when it hit her. Buffy knew she'd realised.

"Alice is our daughter..."

* * *

The scoobies had sat Faith down, shortly after that, and explained the whole impossible situation to her.

"Jeez. Talk about timing. You finally get relieved of slayer duty and bam, you're stuck with a kid."

Both parents looked a bit stung at Faith's harsh words.

"We didn't know it then but she was what we needed. I don't think me and Spike would've gotten this far without her."

"Wouldn't change it for the world, either," Spike added. All the time, Alice had been slouched on Buffy's lap, being surprisingly silent. Everyone decided to join in for a few seconds.

"Now that's over and done with, can I take the chance to say hey? How are things?" Xander asked. Everyone smiled then.

Both Buffy and Spike didn't know how to answer that. They'd had their share of ups and downs over the past few weeks.

"Alright I suppose. But I think there's a few things we need to talk about..."

* * *

The couple dredged through the painful memories of her miscarriage, much to everyone's shock and horror. For once, the visitors understood why Buffy hadn't told them sooner.

"Damn, B," was all Faith could manage. It meant something, considering Faith wasn't all that great at expressing her feelings. Buffy had unconsciously shuffled closer to Spike in the last few minutes and his arm was now wrapped around her frame. Willow looked on the verge of tears and Xander didn't look all that far off either.

"Some things just happen." Buffy repeated Spike's words from all those long nights ago. "It's not all bad though."

Everyone was secretly pleased for the mood change. The slayer held up her hand, with her engagement ring on and smiled brightly.

"Buffy, that's gorgeous!" Willow gasped, tears still choking her a little. She took her best friend's hand and observed the ring more closely. Even Xander looked genuinely thrilled for them.

"We've brought it forward to the end of this month."

"Well, what do ya' know."

Everyone looked at Faith.

"Looks like I've arrived in time for a wedding."

"You're staying?" Buffy seemed to yell more than ask politely.

"Why not? I'm not needed anywhere else right now and what better place to kick back than at the beach?"

Spike went a little pale. Not only did she want to stick around for at least a month, she was now implying that she wanted to stay under their roof!

"Only a three bedroom place. We haven't got enough room," Spike confirmed.

"You got a couch, right?"

Faith seemed to find a way around all of the vampire's questions after that.

"If you're worried about me gettin' in the way, don't be. I can be invisible when I want to be."

"Ain't that true," Spike mumbled under his breath. Buffy looked round at him.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, pet." His attention went back to Faith. "Fine. You can stay with us until the wedding but then you'll need to figure out your own plan if you're thinking of staying locally."

Both Buffy and Faith seemed to think this was reasonable. Besides, it gave the slayers some time to really catch up on everything. Faith jumped up and started towards the front door.

"Cool. I'm down with that. Just going to grab my bags."

Their guests had only been with them half an hour and they were already welcoming a new lodger. Suddenly, Alice seemed to recognise Willow and reached out her arms towards her. Everyone looked at her.

"Dibs on cuddles."

Spike smirked as he recalled the witch saying the exact same thing the day of Alice's birth.

"So," Buffy started at Spike, shortly after handing her daughter over. "What was all that whispering when Faith mentioned invisibility?"

The vampire didn't look too keen to follow up on the conversation but reluctantly agreed and sighed.

"Few years back, when you and her were involved in that body swap malarkey?"

"Uh huh?"

"She sort of...came on to me when we crossed paths in the Bronze. Bloody thought it was you, didn't I?"

Buffy looked incensed for a moment. "Angel, Riley and now you? What is it with her and my guys?"

"Guess she wants what she can't have. Only ever had eyes for you, Summers."

Buffy's anger seemed to fade a little then. "She tell you that in the basement too?"

Spike joined in her grin. "You guessed that, huh?"

Faith walked back in then with a simple rucksack. At least she didn't have a lot of stuff.

"I'll go get some covers from the closet," Dawn offered.

"I'll come with, Little Miss Muffet. Think I need a few to get my head around all this."

* * *

Willow and Xander were obviously occupied with Alice, so Spike and Buffy decided to take a moment to properly discuss their situation, out of earshot.

"You're really okay with letting Faith stay?"

"Thought it was what you wanted. Seemed like you were pleased to see her."

Buffy hadn't realised her own feelings on the matter until Spike had mentioned it.

"I guess so. Yes. There's still a lot between us. I just want to make sure you don't mind her being round every corner for the next month."

"Said yes to her, didn't I? Just don't let her get in the way of wedding plans. I'm marrying you at the end of this month even if I've got to drag you to the altar."

"That won't be a problem. I can't wait to be your wife."

"Good. Glad we've cleared that up."

The pair were brought out of their conversation by a laugh from the room next door.

"You didn't...invite Willow and Xander over, did you? Just out of interest?"

Spike shook his head. "Wasn't me. Don't think it was Dawn either. Niblet looked as surprised as you did. Guess they just decided to surprise you."

"I kind of wish I wasn't dragged out to meet them in a bath robe, though."

Spike rolled his eyes. "C'mon. You've got guests to entertain."

"And where do you think you're going?"

"As you so clearly reminded me this morning, I've got the shopping to do."

She grinned at Spike, as she headed back into the living room, leaving him behind so he could finish getting ready.

"She's growing so fast, Buffy," Willow commented. The slayer looked at her daughter, sitting comfortably in her aunty's arms. She hadn't really noticed. Of course, Willow had gone longer without seeing her, but Buffy almost saw Alice as the same as the day she was born.

"Not too fast, I hope."

Willow smiled at her friend and then at Alice. "She's only 6 months, Buffy. You're worrying a little early on don't you think?

"I know its silly. I guess it's something that you don't realise before you become a parent. Now I get how Giles felt with me."

"He sends his best, by the way," Xander suddenly input. "He's just sorry he couldn't make it. Watcher duties in the wonderful land of England called."

"He better be able to make it for the wedding," Buffy laughed. "I'm sure he can take a couple of days off."

Dawn bounded down the stairs, carrying pillows, Faith following, with a duvet.

"Oh, he won't miss it for the world," Faith said, catching Buffy's last sentence. "He's just been waiting for the day you settle down. Maybe not his first choice of groom for you but..."

"Shut up, Faith," Dawn jumped in. "You can sleep on the porch if you keep this up."

Willow, Xander and Faith gawped at Dawn's sass but Buffy simply folded her arms and raised an eyebrow in Faith's direction.

"You heard her."

Faith held her hands up in defeat. "You're the boss, B."

Spike emerged from the bedroom, having changed and gelled back his hair, very roughly.

"Right, I'm off out. Should be back in a couple of hours."

Faith picked her jacket up from the couch. "Can me and B get a lift? We're going shopping."

"We are?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"Yep. Haven't got my wedding frock with me. Need a new one and you're gonna help me choose."

"Oh. Okay." Buffy allowed herself to be led away. Spike was already outside and Faith was ushering the bride-to-be through the door.

"We'll see y'all later!"

* * *

"Here okay?"

"Yup. Its perfect, Liz."

Spike scowled at her. God, he was never gonna live wearing that poncy necklace, in the hellmouth, down. "Enough nicknames for one day don't you think?"

Buffy rolled her eyes at their petty squabble.

"Let's go before one of you ends up black and blue."

Spike got out of the car, with the two women and met them round the passenger side. He approached his fiancée.

"I'll see you here in a couple of hours then?"

"Can't wait," she whispered. Faith watched in amusement as the pair locked lips, their arms wrapping around each other. However, she started to grow impatient as they continued their embrace, almost forgetting she was there.

"Knock it off, love birds. We've got stuff to do."

Buffy sighed and pulled away from her vampire, not losing eye contact with him. "Bye." She couldn't resist giving him another quick peck on the lips.

"So..." Faith started as they walked down the road.

"Where to first?"

* * *

A/N: Faith's nickname for Spike came from 'Chosen' when Spike referred to himself as Elizabeth Taylor.


	11. Final Touches

"I'm sorry, baby," Spike soothed as he broke the disappointing news. Buffy took a few moments to let the fact that Giles wasn't going to be at her wedding sink in.

"He can't even come over for a couple days?"

The vampire shook his head. "You know he would if he could."

With now less than a week until the wedding, this wasn't the news they needed.

"There's always after the wedding I suppose."

Spike nodded again, this time reaching to cup Buffy's cheek. "Definitely. Soon as he's able, watcher boy'll be over here before you can blink."

A crash from the kitchen made the pair jump and Spike run to the door. He peaked round, from the bedroom, to see Faith standing over a pile of broken glass. She looked up to see Spike staring at her.

"Sorry."

Spike simply rolled his eyes and turned back to Buffy, muttering under his breath.

"Bloody hell."

The slayer looked up. "What happened?"

"Faith. Being clumsy as usual. Broke a glass."

"I knew something was going to go wrong. She's been too...normal recently."

"You can guarantee it with slayers."

Buffy punched his arm, playfully. "That's it. No cake for you at the reception."

Spike sat down on the bed and pouted but a sly grin crept its way onto his lips. "Think cake'll be the last thing on my mind on our wedding night, pet."

Buffy pretended to look thoughtful. "I think you might have a point there."

She could tell that he had ideas running wild in his head already. She put a finger to his lips.

"Stop. Whatever it is you're thinking. There's still so much to do before Monday. I forbid you from conjuring up any more wedding night plans until then."

Spike looked disappointed. "Spoil sport."

"Monday," she repeated.

"Fine, Monday."

To his surprise, she crawled into his lap. "May I have your word on that, Mr Pratt?"

How could he not think about it with her straddling him right now? She was such a tease. "You have my word, Mrs Pratt."

A rush of adrenaline spread through Buffy. Mrs Pratt. Holy shit. In just a week, she would be his wife. It was one thing thinking it but a whole other hearing it aloud.

"Good."

The slayer looked out of the bedroom to see Faith now stretched out comfortably on the couch.

"Hey!" she called out to her. "That glass better be cleared up properly. There's a baby in the house, y'know."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Relax, B. The kid ain't in any danger."

Buffy nor Spike looked convinced. She clambered out of Spike's lap, off of the bed and strolled into the living room. Faith moved her legs as she sensed Buffy's intention to sit down next to her. They sat in silence for a minute or so.

"So, Faith, why are you really here?"

The once rogue slayer raised an eyebrow. "You know why. I wanted to hang out."

"That's all? You're behaving too normally. The Faith I know would be wreaking havoc and not apologising for it. It's like you're trying too hard to stay. Like you can't afford to leave."

Faith let her head roll back against the cushions and sighed. "You've always known me too well."

Her friend silently pressed her for information.

"Truth is, I haven't got anywhere to go. Not anymore. I lost my place."

Buffy looked sympathetic. "How?"

"Doesn't matter now. All you need to know is that I won't overstay my welcome. I'll leave after the wedding. I always figure something out."

Buffy wanted to extend her stay there and then but it wasn't just up to her. She knew that Spike wasn't exactly thrilled by Faith's presence and there was Alice to think about. The slayer was naturally a liability, whether her actions were intentional or not, and the bride-to-be wasn't sure if she could constantly keep her daughter in that sort of danger.

"We can help you get back on your feet. Spike knows this guy in real estate..."

"Buffy, really, you've already done enough. You've given me a place to crash for a month. I can't ask any more than that."

"Promise me one thing then."

Faith nodded.

"If you get in to trouble or things aren't working out, call us or come see us and we'll help. I don't want you trying to carry the weight of the world again. We all know what happens then."

Faith nodded again but this time slower, reluctant to accept too much of Buffy's generosity. Dawn walked through the door then, Alice in tow. Buffy's eyes immediately lit up.

"How was the park?" she asked, jogging over to meet them

"Fine. I think she has a new love for butterflies," Dawn responded, looking down at her niece. "She couldn't take her eyes off of them."

Buffy grinned and lifted the girl from her sister's arms. She held her close and kissed her cheek gently. Then she remembered something. "Oh yeah, the bridesmaids dresses came while you were out. You can go and try yours on if you want."

Dawn had bolted for the staircase before Buffy had finished speaking.

"What's happened to your one, B? The dress?" Faith input.

"Oh, Willow picked it up and took it back to her hotel. We didn't want to risk Spike seeing it before the day."

Buffy sat back down again, Alice still in her arms.

"Speaking of the big day, have you organised a hen party yet?"

This hadn't even crossed Buffy's mind yet.

"Erm. No."

Faith rubbed her hands together in glee. "Then that means you've left your last night of freedom in my capable hands."

Buffy stiffened. "Oh no. I don't think so. I don't even know if I'm having one yet."

"Come on! This is the best part of getting hitched. The drinks, the strippers..."

Buffy turned even greener. "Hey, what, have we jumped back 10 years? Why would I need a stripper?"

"B, Spike's got it...but he isn't totally buff."

The slayer looked appalled.

"I don't need a stripper, Faith! And what kind of example am I setting for Dawn and Alice by going out and getting totally wasted?"

"Don't tell me you've never been drunk?"

Buffy hesitated. "Once."

"Oh yeah?"

"It involved a rather large bottle of whisky and Spike."

Faith sighed.

"Girl, live a little!"

"I'm staying with Willow the night before and that's final. You're welcome to come but no obsessive amounts of alcohol or naked men, please."

"What's this about naked men?"

Spike had entered the main room and was looking slightly suspicious.

"Faith thinks that I should have a stripper at my hen do."

"Does she now? Should'a known she was gonna pull something like this."

"I've told her hell no...as long as you and Xander don't hire any lap dancers while we're away."

"Pet, you know you're the only one I'm interested in."

"Then its settled."

No one had noticed Alice fast asleep in her mother's lap.

* * *

"I'll take her," Spike offered. Buffy gave him a peck on the cheek as he picked the baby up.

As soon as he'd come back down again, Buffy leapt up, from the couch, and presented Spike with a list.

"These are all the things we've got left to do and I've got a feeling that we can get them all done today."

The vampire skimmed over the longish list. "You sure about that, love? I'm sensing at least 2 days even if we're working 24/7."

"Not with Faith's help."

Faith looked horrified. "Woah! I appreciate you letting me stay and everything but I didn't sign up for organising a wedding."

"You won't have to do much. Just some little jobs. It would really speed things up for us."

A fake smile graced the slayer's lips. "Well, if the happy couple insists."

"We do," the pair requested in unison. Faith jumped up and glanced at the list. Her eyes widened.

"6 days? To do all this? You really do need all the help you can get..."


	12. July 31st

Buffy's eyes were glued to the mirror in front of her as she stood in the outfit that, in mere minutes, she'd be getting married in. Her stomach felt as if it were floating and her heart was in her throat. The silky fabric, of the lower half, was just the right thickness and length, showing off her perfect curves. She had been consistently adjusting it, self consciously, never quite satisfied with how it hung. The hand stitched torso of the dress was made of netting, beautifully crafted in to a pattern of flowers. The pattern extended over her shoulders and down the full length sleeves of the gown. Their cuffs hung down below her hands, making the dress look and feel a little like something a witch would wear. The gown was fastened by a few simple buttons on the back of it. Buffy's hair hung down to her ribs in carefully styled golden waves and she had a small veil attached to her blonde locks with a silver clip. Her make up was effective yet subtle. She wore her usual shade of foundation and peach lipstick but Willow had insisted that she model a beautiful bronze eyeshadow that helped emphasise her already perfect eyes.

The slayer had been waiting for this day for weeks and now that it was here, she didn't know if she could overcome her nerves. Just then, Dawn walked in, dressed to impress in a long but bouncy lilac bridesmaid dress, with 2 layers. Her long brunette hair was standing neatly in a bun apart from 2 long strands of curled hair, one dangling down on either side of her face. Her outfit was complete with a bouquet of white daisies. Dawn stared in awe at her sister's beauty. She'd only ever dreamt of Buffy's big day and the reality was a little overwhelming.

"You ready?" she asked, deciding not to get all soppy at this point.

She was joking right? Buffy didn't think she would ever be ready.

"Yeah," she lied.

"Well, the car's waiting outside. Spike and Xander are already at the pier and I have no idea where Faith is after she went out last night. She probably woke up in some loser's bed. I just hope she gets to the ceremony in time."

"Willow's got Alice?"

Dawn nodded. "They're waiting in the car. Just you and me now."

"Oh, really?" came a voice from the other side of the room.

The Summers ladies looked over to the hotel room door to find Giles standing there, suit and all.

"Giles!" Dawn screeched. She ran up to him and threw her arms around his middle, still a little shorter than him. He returned her hug, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were held up in England?"

"I was able to pull a few strings at the last minute. Bloody flight wasn't cheap though. Besides," he looked to Buffy, "I wasn't prepared to miss your wedding. What kind of father would I be then?"

Dawnie stepped back, giving the pair some space and within moments, the slayer and watcher were hugging. Tears of relief and happiness pricked at her eyes as the only piece missing from her special day slotted back into place.

"You look beautiful, Buffy."

She smiled softly, patting down her dress again.

"Spike doesn't know how lucky he is."

"Oh, he knows. Trust me," Dawn interrupted. "Now come on, we don't want to keep the groom waiting."

Dawn bounded out of the door, Giles and Buffy following behind, a little slower.

"I should've listened to Dawn and got this dress adjusted. I've been worried about tripping all day."

"You'll be fine. Just walk normally."

He noticed her digging her nails into her palm as they reached the car so swfitly picked up her arm and slid it through his. She got the message and exhaled deeply. She felt at ease temporarily when she spied Alice in her car seat through the window, smiling and sucking her fingers. Willow was sat next to her, looking as pretty as always in the same style dress as Dawn but in a shade of sunset red. She waved to Giles, seemingly calm. Something told Buffy that his arrival wasn't news to her. She offered Giles the front seat and shuffled into the back along with the others. She didn't even know 6 seater cars were a thing until last week. The slayer leant over her daughter's seat, smoothing out the simple baby blue dress and headband she was wearing.

"Remind me never to let Aunty Dawn dress you again."

"Hey," Dawn giggled. "She looks so cute in that colour. She's definitely not a pink person. Too late now, anyway."

"I'll say," Willow started, pointing to a sign. Their destination was only a couple of minutes away now. Everyone noticed the wave of tension that washed over Buffy again. Dawn was the one to initiate the latest calming comment.

"Chill, Buffy. Spike's probably more nervous than you. I mean, I don't think he's worn a suit in over a century. Sure, he doesn't have to walk up the aisle and risk tripping over but..."

"Uh, Dawnie?"

Dawn looked to Willow to see her shaking her head.

"Not helping."

"Sorry."

Willow looked back to her friend. "But seriously, Buffy. You've got nothing to worry about. As soon as you're standing at the altar, nothing else will matter and you'll forget why you ever felt nervous."

That seemed impossible right now. Just the thought of standing in front of everyone made Buffy's heart lurch. They pulled up to the beach. The pier was almost a spot in the distance. Thank god there was a boardwalk. She couldn't traipse through sand in these shoes. The heat was noticeable as they left the confines of the car but luckily for Spike, all the sunlight around was indirect. Giles joined Buffy's side as she lifted Alice from the car, Willow and Dawn waiting to follow on behind. She held Alice against her with one arm and slipped the other one through Giles' again.

"Okay?" he asked.

"Okay. Let's go."

The walk towards the pier took forever and Buffy's feet were aching before the day had even begun. Stupid heels. Simple flats would've sufficed. As the pier became clearer, she realised that it was almost exactly how she pictured it. The end of it was under shelter, an arch of flowers almost at the edge. 5 seats were neatly arranged in front of the arch, each with a bowl of confetti by the side of them. The setting was simple yet beautiful. Her attention was immediately drawn back to two suited men standing by the arch. The butterflies awoke in the pit of her belly again. The 5 of them reached the pier soon after and were pleasantly surprised to see Faith speaking to Xander and Spike. Buffy noticed Giles cringing at Faith's choice of dress, as she handed Alice to Willow, but he held his tounge. Xander was the one to notice the group's arrival and ushered Faith to a chair. Spike turned away from them and Buffy momentarily wondered why he was doing this. And then it properly occured to her. He really was just as nervous. Maybe even more so. He held his hands in front of him, clenching his fists in anticipation.

"Psst!"

Spike turned to see Xander trying to attract his attention.

"Look at her!" he whsipered, forcefully. The vampire was reluctant, worried that he was going to say or do something that would make him look like a complete ponce but eventually, he lifted his eyes to be blessed with the most incredible sight. His beautiful bride grining and gazing at him like he was the centre of her world. He hadn't even been with her 5 minutes and already he was overcome with happiness. The wait for her to reach him was agonising. All he could think about was touching her, sharing her joy and making it last forever. He barely even noticed Giles' surprise attendance. The watcher paused to kiss Buffy's cheek before allowing her to join her husband to be. The pair's hands immediately joined and Spike took the opportunity to subtly lean over and whisper in her ear.

"You look gorgeous."

She looked bashfully to the floor for a second before looking back up at him. Holy cow he was actually wearing a suit. A real life suit. She never expected the fact to be as much of a shock to her as it was.

"Don't brush up too badly yourself." She couldn't help but adjust his tie.

The officiant began to say his piece but the couple weren't really listening. They were both too lost in the pure excitement and bliss of the moment. They were stood facing each other, holding hands and trying not to grin too much. They started to tune back in around the time building up to their vow recitals. That was one thing they had spent weeks trying to agree on. Something that seemed perfect to one didn't seem at all right to the other so eventually they both decided to find and adapt their own.

"Buffy, I understand you've decided on your own vows?"

She nodded and desperately tried to recall the words. She'd spent so much time learning them but there was always a line or two that never seemed to stick.

"As I stand here before you, my eyes looking so deeply into yours, I see all of the things I fell in love with."

She paused, momentarily, taking a silent breath and gathering her confidence.

"As I stand here before you, my heart beating so loudly in my ears, I find myself so lost for the right words to say. As I stand here before you, this ring in my hand," she reached into a surprisingly useful pocket in her dress, retrieved the ring and continued, "It makes me remember how complete you make my life.

With every smile, every embrace, every tear you've ever wiped from my face.

It makes me remember how blessed I really am. It makes me remember every laugh we've ever shared, every hard time we've made it through together, and every beautiful moment there is to come."

She hadn't appreciated the words' true beauty until this moment.

"I give you my heart, my soul. I give you the everything I am today as I stand before you. I promise to love you, protect you, be with you forever, and cherish every moment as if it were the last moment on earth. Let it be known, that over every other person in the world I could be with, I chose you. I love you. With this ring, I make my promises."

She held his hand up, slid the ring onto his finger and then made the brave decision to look up at him again. Her remaining strength was used to hold back the wave of joyous tears that threatened to spill at seeing his face. He looked totally and utterly confused, as if he didn't know how he'd gotten to where he was now, but yet overwhelmed with gratefulness that he was here.

"And, William?" their officiant continued.

Spike swallowed his emotion and nervousness.

"Turns out I'm jus' as awful at writing vows as I am poetry. There was some rhyming and clichés that didn't work out but, the long and short of it is, I bloody love you Summers."

Buffy held back yet more tears. This is exactly what she was hoping for from him. No long speech, just a few simple words that wouldn't mean half as much coming from anyone else.

"And just when I think I can't love you anymore, you always surprise me."

There was a slight pause.

"Told you I was awful at this."

Buffy shook her head. "No, you're good at this."

Spike didn't look totally convinced.

"Then I guess there's one more thing to do."

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a ring, identical to the one he was now wearing.

"With this ring, I make my promises." He slid the gold band onto her ring finger, the sparkle from the diamond, in her engagement ring, blinding him in the process.

The officiant smiled. "I now pronounce you hu-"

The poor man was cut off as Spike swept his wife off of her feet and pulled her into a heated kiss.

"You're mine now. No gettin' away," he whispered.

"You'd have to tie me up and lock me away somewhere to keep me from leaving you."

"I guess that first part can be arranged."

Luckily, the others were applauding and out of earshot.

"Down, boy. Dawn has a whole reception lined up for us yet."

"You left it all up to Dawn? This should be good..."

* * *

A round of applause erupted as Spike pulled Buffy to her feet for their first dance. It was early evening and the group had gathered on the beach for the reception with nothing but a few blankets, candles and a pair of iPod speakers. They didn't need a big celebration. Neither could they afford it, realistically. They were still paying off the loan for Buffy's engagement ring.

Spike nervously lead his new wife away from the others into a circle of candles amongst the sand. Who was he kidding, he couldn't dance. Hopefully Dawn had picked a short song. She had insisted on creating the wedding playlist. Dawnie pressed a button and music started started to drift melodically towards them. Spike curled his arm around her waist and joined his opposite hand with hers. Buffy wound her free arm around his neck and leant in towards him.

"Don't over think it. Just move," she whispered. She initiated the dance but eventually let him lead. They swayed from side to side, slowly turning more or less on the spot.

There's so much craziness surrounding me,

There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe.

When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me,

You make it real for me.

Buffy reached round and undid Spike's tie, letting each side hang down from his collar.

"I'm surprised you didn't go home and change. You don't look comfortable in this."

"Wasn't to begin with. Suppose it's alright though."

"I couldn't believe it when I first saw you in it. Part of me believed you'd turn up in your jeans and duster, maybe a flower pinned on you if I was lucky."

"I may not be one hundred percent hearts and flowers but I'm not that unromantic."

When I'm not sure of my priorities,

When I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be.

And like holy water washing over me,

You make it real for me.

The couple sighed, glancing at Dawn. Trust her to choose a song that included a lyric like that.

"So...honeymoon?" he asked, suddenly as they continued to dance. That hadn't even occured to Buffy. She hadn't thought about anything beyond the wedding for weeks.

"Where do you want to go, love?"

"I think the question is, where do YOU want to go? You've been all over. How about somewhere new. Preferably somewhere cold too."

"Pet, just because me and the sun aren't best mates doesn't mean I can't go somewhere hot. I mean, I'm living in the bleedin' canary islands. We don't have to decide now. There's no rush."

"I know. Let's just enjoy a few married life firsts for now."

"I can think of one this very minute."

She did her best to hide her blush.

"I'm sure you can."

And I am running to you baby,

You are the only one who saves me.

That's why I've been missing you lately,

'Cause you make it real for me...


	13. Day's Not Over

The newlyweds reveled in post coital bliss as the last of the dazzling sunset shone in through the glass doors. The pair were half bathed in an indirect orange glow, holding each other close and listening to the waves outside.

"I kind of feel bad for kicking the others out tonight," Buffy confessed shortly after pressing a kiss to Spike's shoulder blade.

"They offered, love. Think they always planned to run for the hills come our wedding night."

"Wonder why?," she giggled in response. Spike noticed one of the many rose petals he'd sprinkled on the bed, at the beginning of the night, in Buffy's hair and gently pulled it out.

"Nice touch by the way," she added, referring to the petals. "I thought that only happened in movies."

"Can't take all the credit. Dawn helped with the inspiration."

"I think Dawn's done more to contribute to this wedding than both of us combined."

Spike couldn't deny that. The girl had taken control as soon as she learnt of the occasion. Buffy started relaxing, as she found a comfortable position in Spike's arms, and looked close to nodding off.

"Hey," Spike whispered, stroking his wife's cheek. "Day's not over yet. Got another 'first' in mind."

"Mmm hmm?" Buffy mumbled. She moaned when Spike pulled away from her, got to his feet and put on a pair of jeans.

"Up for a midnight swim?"

The slayer smiled, sleepily but sweetly. Could this guy get anymore romantic? He wrapped her in a cocoon of sheets before picking her up, like he did when carrying her over the threshold earlier, and starting towards the door. Buffy instinctively wound her arms around his neck and rested her head in the crook of it. The chilly sea breeze was harsh against her warm skin, causing her to shiver slightly but only for a second. Her long fringe whipped around in the wind, the natural coconut fragrance of her hair much more noticeable than usual. Even to that day, Buffy's scent still sang to Spike unlike anyone else's. Dusk had all but faded now and stars blanketed the sky. The vampire placed Buffy down close to the shore so that the waves tickled her feet and goosebumps shot across her limbs. She pulled the sheets further around her but they did nothing to shield the cold surrounding her. As she adjusted to the temperature, she realised that the water was surprisingly warm for this time of the day. Maybe she'd be better off in the ocean than standing here. The next thing she noticed was Spike standing rib deep in the water, obviously waiting on her. Not at all shyly, she let her bed sheets flutter to the sand before gliding through the waves and into her husband's waiting arms. She gasped a little at the temperature change but that quickly became the last thing on her mind. The area they were stood in was soft and shallow but Buffy hardly had time to adjust before she was lifted off of her feet so that her legs encircled Spike's waist. His arms were around her waist, holding her to him and hers were around his neck again, her fingers gently combing his messy hair. Buffy leant back acutely and tilted her head upwards to get a clear view of the sea of stars above them. It wasn't the clearest of nights but the stars that were visible shone brighter than ever.

"What. Are. You. Thinking?" There was a pause between each of Spike's words as he planted a line of kisses up the middle of her throat. She closed her eyes and smiled.

"I was thinking...that I should thank my lucky stars I didn't trip over my dress and fall flat on my face today."

The vibrations of Spike's laughter spread across her skin. After a while, he eventually joined her in stargazing.

"And you?" Buffy asked, looking back at him.

"That I've just remembered a line from my original vows."

"Do I wanna hear it?"

Spike huffed. "Cheeky cow," he muttered, tickling her ribs. The slayer automatically pushed away, recalling how ticklish she was. "No! Please don't!" she squealed, swimming for the shore. She was too slow, however and Spike grabbed hold of her, resuming the action. Fortunately, the household weren't around to hear her shrieks of laughter.

"Okay! Okay, I take it back," she giggled. Spike stopped in his tracks, allowing Buffy to half float in the water, on her back.

"Hmm, I don't think you do. Maybe I should make sure."

She rolled her eyes. "Just shut up and kiss me."

"No complaints here," he added as he leant in towards her. He cradled her again as they embraced passionately for what felt like hours. The slayer's chest rose and fell above and below the water.

"Will you take me to bed, William?" she whispered softly.

" 'Course, love."

"For sleeping," she insisted, quickly, positive that she'd used up every single joule of energy in her body. She felt him smirk.

"I know. Plenty of time for play later."

* * *

Before they knew it, they were both wrapped up in towels and a fresh set of sheets in bed.

"I sort of don't wanna sleep," Buffy confessed, suddenly.

Spike rolled on his side towards her. "Why's that, pet? Thought you were knackered?"

"I am. I just don't want this day to end."

The vampire knew exactly what she meant.

"I've only ever had two days in my bloody long life that I treasure now and will do 'till I'm dust. Today. And the day you brought our beautiful baby girl into the world."

Buffy knew that if she didn't hide her face now, she was going to burst into tears.

"You are the reason behind both of those days and that's only one of the millions of reasons why I love you."

Jeez. Was he purposely trying to make her well up?

"Those were some of the less crappy vows I had planned."

"Crappy?" she croaked, reaching for his hand. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You need to stop underestimating yourself, mister."

"I don't," he defended, jokingly. "Only when it comes to words...and sodding poetry of course."

Buffy went to argue his case even more but was interrupted.

"Hush," he whispered pulling her to him. She tucked her head under his chin and pressed her palms against his chest.

"Sleep now, my angel..."


	14. Home Sweet Home

A/N: 2 months have passed since the wedding.

"Never realised how much I missed this place 'till now."

"Speak for yourself. I was happy on the constantly sunny beaches of Barbados."

Spike jabbed his wife in the ribs. "Luckily, I know you don't mean that. You're just itching for Dawn and Alice to walk through those doors."

The slayer smiled. She hadn't seen either of them for a month and as heavenly as their honeymoon was, she was glad to be home.

Spike's voice drew her out of her thoughts. "Standing there isn't gonna speed up time. Keep yourself busy, yeah?"

The vampire had all but tipped the contents of his holdall onto the bed. Unpacking really wasn't his strong point.

"Need a hand?"

"You're alright, love." He tossed around a few items of clothing before holding one up and looking at it for a few seconds. "Does this count for a dark wash?"

Buffy squeezed her lips together to keep from laughing.

"My husband, the domestic genius."

"Watch it, slayer."

The couple were pulled out of their bubble by a chirpy voice.

"Knock, knock?"

Dawn had poked her head around the front door. Buffy had to everything to stop herself from sprinting towards her. As the younger Summers girl moved closer to them, a sleepy 9 month year old in her arms became more visible. However, her baby blue eyes woke up as soon as she recognised her parents. She outstretched her arms towards her doting mother, eager to be held by her again.

"Hey, you," Buffy cooed as she picked her up. "We've missed you so much."

Alice giggled and nuzzled her mom. Spike approached them and put an arm around his girls.

"Never again are we goin' away for a month without you, kitten. Too bloody long."

"Oh yeah," Dawn interrupted. "I thought you were only going for a couple of weeks."

Buffy suddenly looked both annoyed and grateful. "Giles insisted we stay longer and paid for the rest of the month."

Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Typical Giles, splashing the cash. Anyway, how was it?"

The newlyweds tried to think of a word to sum up their glorious vacation.

"Tiring."

Buffy blushed at her husband's choice.

Dawn held up a hand.

"Changed my mind. I may need therapy if you utter another syllable."

Spike swatted Buffy's behind, lightly, and winked at her as Dawn wandered into the kitchen.

"You trying to scare my sister off before we've even been here 5 minutes?"

"Just makin' sure she doesn't rush into anything herself. She's a gorgeous girl and I know what blokes are like. I'll go to hell and back before I let anyone take advantage of her."

Buffy's heart melted at how protective he was of his sister-in-law. "I know."

"Now, princess," he started, taking Alice from Buffy's arms. "We may just have brought back a present or two for you."

Buffy joined her sister in the kitchen, where she was making coffee.

"Milk, two sugars?" she asked. Buffy nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Willow called. Apparently Faith has finally found herself a place back in Boston. I hear she's even got a job too."

"Faith? Working? I'll believe it when I see it."

Several seconds passed.

"How are you Dawn?"

The girl looked confused. "Erm...good, thanks. Same as usual. Why?"

Good question. Where did this come from?

"I guess I've just been wrapped up in my own world with the wedding and...the baby not long before that." Pain flashed across both of their faces. "And I haven't exactly been there for you much. I want to know what's been happening in your life?"

Dawn looked a little taken aback but pleasantly surprised at the same time. She joined her older sister at the breakfast bar.

"Apart from College, not a lot I suppose. Although, there are a group of girls who've invited me on vacation next week. They moved here from Canada a couple of years ago or something."

"That's awesome," Buffy stated, a little concerned as to why Dawn hadn't alerted her of her plans a little sooner. "Where are you going?"

"Only London. I explained that Giles could get us set up with a really good hotel. He's cool with it. I didn't tell you sooner 'cause I know how worked up you get about me going away and I didn't want to ruin your honeymoon."

"You're 18 now. I trust you enough to make your own decisions. Wish I was as bright as you back then."

"You make it sound like you're decades old."

"I'm 30 in a few years. That's like a lifetime."

Dawn sighed. "Don't let Spike here you say that." She wasn't going to argue. "Anyway, if that's what you're think, look at it this way. You have a husband, who clearly worships the ground you walk on, a healthy, happy daughter, a beautiful house on the beach and friends and family who would do anything for you. That's a pretty good for a 'lifetime' from where I'm standing."

"I know. What you're saying, it's completely true but it feels like there's a hole right in the middle of this perfect life and I can't put a finger on what's causing it."

Dawn didn't look surprised. "I think I do. There's a tiny part of you that still can't get over the fact that you lost a baby. A poor, defenceless baby that never did anything to anyone. That hole in your chest is simply you wondering and missing what could've been."

Buffy's jaw dropped slightly.

"Of course, that's just what I think."

"Is there a psych major you're taking that I don't know about?"

"No," she giggled. "I guess I'm just good at reading people." Buffy looked hesitant, as if she was struggling to word something, when Spike approached them.

"Still got a bit of unpacking to do but fancy going out for some grub tonight? Haven't spoiled my girls enough recently."

The slayer looked shocked. "I hope you mean Alice and Dawn. You've done nothing but spoil me for months!"

"Can a man not use what little he has to treat his family?" He mimicked a poetic style.

"He may but only if he realises when he's been far too generous. To his wife in particular."

"And so it begins again," Dawn complained. "I have to say I enjoyed the peace and quiet when you two were away. Maybe drinking your coffee will give me...oh say 2 minutes of bliss?"

Buffy looked at the cup. "Actually, I think I'll pass on it. I drank way too much caffeine this trip."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Lies, Mrs Pratt. You didn't touch it. Thought maybe you were on some pointless diet or something."

"No, I drunk loads of those energy drinks from the mini fridge, remember?

"Anyway, unpacking. Let's get to it," Spike commanded. "I'm bloody famished."

"Yes, sir."

"Think I like that. May get you to use it more often, love."

"La, la, la, la!" Dawn yelled, her fingers in her ears as she jogged up the stairs away from their kinky conversation. Buffy sighed.

"Sweetie, you don't have to go overboard."

Spike disagreed. "Just makin' sure. And where do you think you're going?" he asked as Buffy started up the stairs.

"Going to make sure you haven't scarred my sister for life."

* * *

Buffy found her sister curled up on her bed.

"Everything okay?"

The girl looked up and nodded. "Yeah. Its just...can I ask you something?"


	15. Digging Deep

Dawn made sure her sister couldn't escape the hug she was giving her.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay here without me?" she asked.

"I'll be fine. Just you make sure you take care of yourself. Especially now."

Dawn smiled weakly, thinking back to their conversation last week.

"Promise. I won't go wild."

"Its only London. I don't see how wild you can go."

"Giles thinks otherwise. I suppose he knows more about London than any of us."

Buffy squeezed her hand. "Now go. You'll miss your flight."

Her sister smiled, threw her bag over shoulder and went to leave when Buffy grabbed the strap.

"Dawnie, where did you put the uh...'thing?'"

Dawn had to take a minute to work out what she meant.

"Oh yeah! The 'thing.' I think it's still upstairs."

"Somewhere safe?"

"My dresser."

"Maybe you should give it to me. The last thing we need is someone accidentally finding it."

Dawn nodded in agreement and checked that the coast was clear before creeping upstairs. Alice was asleep and Spike was in the shower so she had some time. She rummaged about in her dresser, frantically searching for the item.

"Bit, I was wonderin' if you've seen..."

Spike was cut off by the slam of a draw.

Dawn went completely red in the face. Damn it, why wasn't he in the shower?

"Dawn, what's wrong?"

She could tell that he knew something was up and wasn't going to let it go easily.

"I-I'm fine," she stuttered. "I was just getting changed and you startled me."

Her story may well have been believable but she'd made the mistake of not throwing the rather conclusive pregnancy test, she was holding, back into the draw.

"Oh for god sake, bit. You're not..."

He trailed off, struggling to get the word out. She knew she was busted. This is what Buffy would've wanted too.

"Yeah...I'm pregnant..."

* * *

Buffy arrived a little too late to stop her husband's discovery. She was panting. It was clear that she'd been running up the stairs. Spike turned to her.

"Did you know about this?"

The slayer bit her lip.

"What?"

"About Dawn being up the duff?"

Buffy gawped at her sister, as if surprised that she'd admitted it so willingly.

"Erm...yeah. But only for a week. She didn't want anyone to know, did you?" She looked at her sister. The youngest Summers shook her head, looking really embarrassed now.

"And you think it's okay? She hasn't even finished bloody school yet."

"Give her a break. She was brave to come forward. We haven't really discussed any options."

"Well...how far along is she?"

"Only 2 months or so. We have time. Please just don't make a big deal out of it right now. She's just about to go on vacation."

Spike was incensed.

"Not now she isn't! This isn't something we can just put to one side. Even for a week! We've got to do something about it."

Dawn shot her brother-in-law a furious glare. "Hello? Still here! I'm eighteen, this is my baby. Since when do 'we' decide my future. It's my choice."

Buffy threw her sister a slightly surprised look and Dawn shied away after that.

"You're throwin' half your life away before you've even begun it! You'll make a great mom one day but the long and short of it is, you're too young, niblet. And since when did you have a boyfriend anyway?"

This was a topic Dawn really didn't want to go in to.

"I don't. I have this friend, who's a guy, and things just, y'know, happened. He's really nice!"

"You wanna see just how nice he is when he finds out junior's on the way?"

Buffy stepped in again.

"Please, Spike. Just let me talk to her. You go to work."

"Don't think your talking has made a whole lot of difference so far, Buffy."

Oh god. He used her name at the end of a sentence. He never did that. Now she knew he was really pissed.

"Please. All of this isn't helping right now. I'll explain everything tonight."

Spike shook his head and headed back down stairs. "You can't ignore this." He pulled away from his wife when she went to touch him. The sisters stood in silence until they heard the front door slam, hard. The noise woke Alice and her cries echoed around the house. Her mom reached her in seconds and luckily was able to calm her down. "Scary noise wake you, huh?" she whispered, stroking her daughter's little forehead. The baby pouted. Poor Dawn looked on the verge of tears when they returned.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy," she sobbed. I didn't want him to find out but there was no way I could've fooled him."

Buffy wrapped her arms around the weeping girl.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. He's only acting like this because he loves you and he thinks he's protecting you. You were so brave for going through with that. I'm sure he'll calm down." She wiped the tear lines from the girl's rosy cheeks and Alice patted her nose.

"Now you get going. You've got a flight to make. I'll text you with any updates, okay?"

"I don't think I should go now. Not after this."

"No. You go. I'm not letting this ruin your trip."

* * *

Spike arrived home, mid evening, looking a little calmer than when he walked out. Buffy was sat on the couch waiting for him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he responded, his tone a bit cold. He joined her, none the less.

"Alice asleep?"

"Only just put her down. You can still go and see her if you want."

"Not right now. You and me need a little chat first."

Buffy sighed. She didn't know why she thought she could avoid this conversation. "I think we should give her some time to think. She's just as freaked out as us."

"Looked like she was bonding with the sprog this morning. Don't know if you noticed but the whole 'this is my baby' speech kind of gave it away."

The slayer was already exasperated. "Enough with the sarcasm already! Just quit it!"

"Then tell me why you're taking this so well."

Buffy stared at him. "What?"

"You're defending her every action and word, you want to give her months of thinking time? Hell, you're not even the tiniest bit disappointed that she's messed around with some tosser, unprotected! Why?"

"She's...she's my sister, Spike."

"Nah. That's not it. There's something you're not telling me."

Buffy got a little too defensive then and jumped up.

"Stop the interrogation! I'm trying to be supportive and not scare her off before we lose control of her completely."

"She's a bright kid. She knows what she's done is stupid and knows that we have a right to be angry with her. She's not ignorant. What's the real reason, Buffy?"

Buffy's breathing speed increased. "Let it go."

Spike followed her to his feet. "No. You need to be honest with me if we've got any chance of talking some sense into this girl."

"I said, let it go."

"Why are you doing this!?"

She finally snapped. "Because that pregnancy test isn't Dawn's!"

Spike froze.

"It's mine..."


	16. Owed Explanation

Spike struggled to form a sentence for a few seconds. "I know you want to protect lil' sis but this is taking it too far."

This was worse than Buffy ever imagined. He didn't even believe her.

"How can you think that? Why would I lie about as something as serious as this? Especially after what happened just a few months ago."

"Well if it is true, it seems you've had no problem lying to ME about it!"

"I wasn't lying to anyone. I just didn't say anything."

Spike didn't look even a little sympathetic.

"Has it not even occurred to you why I've kept it secret?"

Still nothing from him.

"I was scared. I still am. What if I told you and then we lost it again? I couldn't bare how that'd make you feel. I wanted to protect you."

Spike took his space back on the couch and leant forward, his face partially covered by his hands. He seemed to be allowing himself to believe now.

"How? I thought you said you wanted to be careful. That you were on these pills."

"I was. I guess I just got caught up with the wedding and everything and may have missed a few doses. I didn't plan for this if that's what you mean. I didn't know what to think when I found out."

"When did you find out? Barbados?"

She nodded. "I was 6 weeks in. I'm guessing our wedding night."

"Buffy, what were you thinking not telling me? You've missed your first scan."

The slayer looked to the floor.

"Oh, for fucks sake." He jumped up again, putting his hands behind his head. She'd never seen him so restless.

"Should've guessed you'd go without me."

"Spike, that's not fair."

"I don't think you should be lecturing me on fair right now, love. I mean, Dawn. She didn't deserve getting dragged in to this. What the fuck were you thinking getting her to cover for you?"

"She guessed about the baby! She knows me too well. I never would've told her but she backed me into a corner. I had no idea she was going to pull the stunt she did this morning. She knew how much keeping this under wraps meant to me and I guess she had to think of something fast when you walked in on her."

"When were you planning on telling me? Gonna leave it a few months to see if maybe I'd notice, were you?"

That comment stung Buffy and Spike knew it. He didn't mean for it to come out quite like that.

"I wanted to be at least a month beyond where we were last time before I said anything."

Buffy could see the tears shining in her husband's eyes.

"Oh, Spike," she sighed, cautiously approaching him. "It ate me up every day not being able to tell you but I told myself that this was the best thing to do."

"I know why you did what you did."

Okay. At least this was progress.

"I'm just angry because... I could've been there for you, looked after you but you didn't let me. I don't need protectin'. As long as I know you, Alice, Dawn and this little one here," he cupped her stomach, "are alright then I'm fine. I can take what ever happens next."

The hurt, she'd been holding back, for weeks finally made its presence known and the slayer dropped to her knees in tears. Disappointment, anxiety and fear all flooded to the surface but an overwhelming sense of relief also found it's way. Spike immediately crouched down beside her, wrapping his arms around her shaking frame. She almost instantly went limp and fell into his embrace.

"I'm sorry for goin' off the handle. Maybe wasn't the best way to go."

She simply shook her head. What at exactly, he didn't know.

"I'm so scared," she whimpered. "Oh god, I'm so scared."

"I know. I am too..."

* * *

Buffy suddenly remembered something.

"I've got a picture."

Spike lifted his head from the armrest of the couch and looked down at his wife,

who was asleep in his arms just a few moments ago.

"Picture?"

"From the scan."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, cautiously, recalling his disappointment of not being there with her at the time.

Buffy wriggled out of her lying down position slightly to reach over and a grab a bag. After several seconds of rummaging, she pulled out a small bit of folded paper and opened it up to reveal a photo.

"Like a little jelly bean, remember?" she said, pointing out the shape that was their baby. The vampire was yet again mesmerised by the familiar sight of his unborn child.

"How could I forget?"

Neither anticipated the following silence.

"I didn't want this to change us," Buffy admitted.

Spike didn't fully understand. "Change?"

"The baby. I never thought that you'd take me not telling you so hard. I guess I kind of just assumed you'd understand and I feel so shit about that. Now everything's just really awkward between us."

"Not gonna lie, I'm still taking everything in, including the fact that you didn't tell me but you've only given me a few hours. Stop worrying. I don't love you any less, baby. Takes a hell of a brave woman to keep this all to herself after what we've been through."

Buffy smiled, still facing away from him. "I don't deserve you."

"And you can stop with that talk right now, slayer."

She smiled again.

"You're worthy of everything you've got and more. Don't let one little thing make you forget that."

They lay in peaceful silence for a minute longer.

"Do you know what my first thought was when I found out that I was pregnant again?"

Spike looked a bit nervous.

"It only crossed my mind for a second and I hate myself for it but... I wanted to get rid of it."

The vampire's whole body tensed.

"Of course I don't think that now. I love this baby so much already but my first thoughts were of the pain of losing another child. I wasn't sure if I could go through it again. It seemed...easier that way, at the time."

"Might not happen again, love. You forget that miscarriages aren't all that common. It was only one occasion. Think about Alice. You were never once worried about losing her like that."

"I suppose."

"Exactly," he confirmed, kissing her hair. "Just think about that whenever you're feeling worried."

He placed a hand on the curve of her belly. "This one's determined. They ain't goin' anywhere."

Buffy rolled over to face him.

"We really need to stop calling it...well, it."

"What do you suggest? Jelly bean?"

The slayer rolled her eyes. "Huh, funny."

"What about fighter?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Fighter?"

"Yeah. Our little fighter."

When he put it that way, the nickname seemed quite fitting.

"Fighter it is then. And by the way..."

She paused.

"Those energy drinks I was talking about? I kind of found some caffeine free ones."

Spike smirked at the almost distant memory.

"Figures..."

* * *

A/N: Buffy is currently 9 weeks pregnant which means that she conceived roughly a month and a half after her miscarriage.


	17. Holiday Drama

"I want to make sure our baby's actually born in a hospital this time," Buffy explained. Spike looked up from the bottle of milk he was heating on the stove. He wasn't so convinced. "Remember how much you wanted to get out of there last time? Do you really want to spend any more time in hospital than you have to?"

Buffy lifted herself onto the counter and crossed her legs before reaching for the giant jar of pickled gherkins she'd bought earlier that afternoon.

"This isn't about me. This is about making sure that we're protecting fighter."

It was strange how quickly their baby's nickname had etched itself in to their minds.

"If that's what you want. Just know how scared you were last time. I don't want that to be even more of a problem surrounded by doctors in a place that I know you hate." He turned off the gas and walked over towards her on the other side of the kitchen as she munched on a gherkin.

"We can get the doc to come here. Arrange it properly this time."

The slayer was adamant and shook her head.

"No. I want to be sure. In every way. We're miles away from a hospital if anything goes wrong."

The vampire knew he was fighting a losing battle. Besides, if Buffy knew what was best for their child, then he believed her.

"Okay. I won't push."

Buffy smiled. "Thank you."

Buffy groaned as her husband confiscated the jar of gherkins.

"Hey!"

"I'm makin' tea soon." He suddenly lifted her off of the counter and placed her on the floor again, keeping her close.

"Never did ask, how are the symptoms? If they're as rough before, you've done a good job hiding them."

"No, they're not as bad, thank god. Baby's being as good as gold."

"A trait that the sprog doesn't get from either of us, then."

"I suppose, yeah. Never had a chance to be a good girl when you've been around."

A smug look appeared on Spike's face.

"What can I say? I just have that effect on people."

"People? Should I be worried," she questioned, jokingly. Spike recognised the comedic element in her voice but cupped her face and looked deep into her rich brown eyes all the same. "Never had to, never will. I've got everything I care about right here under this roof. Well, I will do when that sister of yours gets back here."

Dawn had extended her stay in London for another week which as far as Spike was concerned, wasn't great. He'd apologised to Dawn, for the episode the week before, as much as he could over the phone but he didn't feel as if anything he said would be enough until he talked to her in person.

"You know she forgave you way back right?" Buffy explained, locking onto Spike's expression of deep thought.

"She could never stay mad at you. Especially for something like this. She knows you were only thinking of her. If she's gonna blame anyone, she should blame me. I should never have let her go along with that insane story."

"Good luck with that. Of course she's not going to blame you."

Spike turned back to the stove but wasn't too occupied to notice Buffy reaching for the pickles again. He quickly grabbed the jar.

"Uh, uh. I'm not havin' you fill up on these when I'm slaving away over a hot stove later."

"You don't even know how hungry I am!"

"Then have a drink. We've got more bottles in the fridge than we know what to do with."

"You let me open that chocolate milk, it'll be gone in seconds."

"Then sit down, I'll pour you a glass and then put a padlock on the fridge."

Buffy looked grateful but was still mainly thinking with her stomach.

"Just remember, I'm eating for two again."

"Doesn't mean you can ruin your appetite, sweetheart. Don't cook for everyone, you know."

He turned away from her again and lifted Alice's bottle from the now lukewarm pan. "You should feel honoured."

The slayer wrapped her arms around her husband's waist and rested her cheek against his back.

"But I do. More than you know. I never properly thanked you for everything you did and helped me with when Alice was on the way."

"And you'll never have to." He reached his free hand around to touch Buffy's. "I'd do anything for you both but I think you already know that. And on that note, I'm gonna go feed the squiblet."

Buffy looked amused as he started towards the staircase.

"Squiblet?"

"I would explain but somehow I think I'd get accused of being too British and not speaking 'normally' again."

Buffy sent a glare his way.

"Squiblet's someone who gets over excited and hyper."

Buffy looked to the floor and smiled. She didn't know how the word came about but it was cute all the same.

Spike shook the bottle gently. "You put your feet up. I'll be back in a minute. And leave the dishes, woman."

The slayer rolled her eyes in reluctance to his demands. She couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving everything up to him.

"I'm not incapable of walking yet!" she called after him. She got no response but did as he asked and walked away from the mountainous pile of washing up. She was soon stretched out comfortably on the couch when the rattling of keys from the front door started. The slayer jumped up immediately. The mystery person on the other side of the door was taking a while to unlock it. Too long for Buffy's liking. "Spike!" she yelled. Her husband was by her side in seconds and quickly noticed her gazed fixed on the door. Only 3 people had a set of keys. Her, Spike and...

Dawn suddenly walked in, shakily.

"Dawn?" Buffy and Spike said in unison. The girl was as pale as they'd ever seen her, her fist gripping the straps of her bag tightly.

"What are you doing here?" her sister asked.

"I'm sorry. I should've called," she squeaked.

There was clearly something really troubling her.

"Dawn what's wrong? Why are you back so early?" The older Summers woman began to approach her. The teen opened her mouth to speak but words failed her as she began to cry. Buffy put her hands on the girl's shoulders.

"For gods sake, Dawnie, you're scaring me. What's happened?"

Dawn still didn't have the strength to get any words out so simply held her arm out to her sister instead. Buffy looked confused but eventually took Dawn's arm. She flinched, worrying Buffy even more. The slayer decided to investigate and rolled up her sleeve to discover a faint yet clearly unnatural bruise around her wrist. Spike's gasp was obvious when he saw it.

"Wha.." Buffy started. "What did this?"

"This guy," she choked up. "We were at a club. I told him no but..."

Buffy was furiously holding back her tears. "He didn't..."

"No, I got away. But not without a fight."

"Fucking animal," Spike growled under his breath. "Who was the bastard?"

"I-I don't know. We hadn't been talking long."

"I'll fucking kill him."

As much as she expected this sort of reaction, Buffy was stunned at his threat. She'd never expected to see this side of him again.

"Spike, I know you're angry but please calm down. This isn't helping Dawn right now."

"Oh, its helping her. Once I tear the little maggot's throat out."

Buffy wrapped her arms around her sister, as she began to cry even more, her eyes not leaving Spike's, however.

"Stop it right now or get out until you've calmed down. I get you're upset but this isn't about you. I need you to be strong now."

The vampire knew that he was still raging internally and would end up saying something he regretted if he stuck around.

He took a deep breath, in an attempt to get a sentence out. "Back in a bit." With that, he grabbed his duster and left, leaving shock and fury in his wake.

"He's a grown guy. He can take care of himself. Don't you worry about him," Buffy explained, sensing her sister's fear. She nodded, absently.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She started stroking the teenager's hair.

Dawn knew it was the last thing she wanted to spell out in detail but considered the consequences of her avoidance of the subject.

"Just don't tell Spike..."

* * *

Spike returned a couple of hours later, seemingly calmer. Buffy was curled up on the sofa with a blanket, the fireplace blazing and a dozy Alice in her lap. She glanced up at him for a second before looking back to her baby.

"Where's Dawn?"

"Sleeping."

"You still hungry?

"We got a take out."

"Are we going to carry on like this all night?"

"I don't know," Buffy finally looked up at him properly, "Are we?"

The vampire shrugged off his duster and threw it over the back of the couch.

"I should've thought more about how Dawn was feeling, I know. It was selfish."

The slayer slowly nodded, looking away from her husband again.

"I swear it wasn't this time last week we were in this sort of situation because of your refusal to listen. You need to think before you speak."

"Never been much of a thinker and you know it."

"Then please try. Not for me but for Dawn. For your children."

The pair heard movement upstairs. Dawn must've woken.

"I think you owe her a huge apology."

Spike sighed, in regret and nodded.

* * *

Dawn was perched on the edge of her bed when Spike reached her room. The door was open but he knocked anyway.

"Hey, bit."

Her eyes lit up slightly, in the dim room, at seeing him.

"You're back. Where did you go?"

"Just out and about. Nowhere special. Thought it better than being a selfish git around you for any longer."

Dawn shook her head. "I know why you were mad. You just wanted to protect me."

"Could've gone about it a different way though. You were scared enough as it was."

Spike hesitantly sat down next to the girl. "You should'a called me. Would've come to get you straight away."

"I wasn't thinking clearly. I wanted to get home but wanted time on my own too. It made sense to do it this way so I phoned Giles, made up some bullshit excuse and he got me my ticket. I've still gotta pay him back for that." The pair shared a smile then.

"Me and your sis' are just glad you're alright."

Dawn looked on the verge of tears again.

"Hey, c'mere." Spike put and arm around his sister-in-law and she leant her head on his shoulder. "I probably haven't given you the best impression of blokes. They're not all lowlifes, you know."

"Just most of them," she giggled through her tears.

"That's right. Just most of 'em." He placed light kiss on her brow.

They sat together in thoughtful silence for another minute or two.

"Get some sleep, niblet. You look shattered."

"I feel it."

Spike considered his next sentence carefully. "Won't mention it again if you don't want me to but don't let some wanker put you off completely. He was totally to blame for this. You did NOTHING wrong."

Dawn smiled.

"Night, Dawn."

"Night..."


	18. Pastries, Whiskey and Roses

Buffy realised that her eyelids felt extra heavy that morning as she woke to a series of slow, light kisses peppering her face. She forced her lids open, using all her energy not to fall back asleep again. She'd obviously needed the rest last night. It wasn't surprising, given yesterday's dramatic events.

"Hmm?"

Spike pushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Sorry, just wanted to let you know I'm off. Workin' late tonight."

Buffy nodded, blankly.

"And..." Spike continued as he reached across to grab something from the other side of the bed. He placed a paper bag, next to her, along with a single rose. She observed the flower, suspiciously and peeked inside the bag to see her favourite pastry.

"You try'na buy my forgiveness now?" There was no sense of a joke in her voice.

Spike sighed. "Yeah. That's right."

Buffy said nothing.

"Enjoy your breakfast," he snapped, coldly before getting to his feet and heading for the door.

Buffy jolted upright a little too fast, making her feel a little dizzy.

"Spike, wait."

He sighed again, as he stopped in his tracks and leant against the door frame.

"I didn't mean it. I'm a hormonal wreck. Don't pay any attention to me." She reached out her hand and brushed the sheets, signalling for him to join her again. He hesitantly did so.

"I know now you weren't threatening Dawn's attacker to make yourself feel better. You just wanted to keep her safe."

Spike's facial expression lacked any sort of emotion.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry."

He didn't seem very convinced, as if she was making up excuses for how she really felt.

"Don't worry about it," he murmured, tilting the slayer's chin up and placing a kiss on her lips. "I'll see you later."

Buffy was left analysing her husband's mixed signals as he left.

* * *

Alice's cries for attention were what eventually dragged Buffy out of bed. She could've happily slept all day. Reaching the top of the stairs, she noticed the light on in Dawn's room.

"Dawn?" she called out, confused, lifting Alice from her cot.

"Yeah?"

Why wasn't she at College?

She made her way to the girl's room to find her still tucked up in bed, watching some trash show on TV.

"Why are you still here? I thought you said you had extra vacation classes?"

"I didn't want to go. Spike was cool with it. He called in sick for me."

"Dawnie, you can't just skip these. You said you'd go in."

Dawn suddenly looked frightened. "People will wonder why I'm back so early from London. I don't need the questions."

Buffy sympathised with her sister and sat down beside her, Alice still clinging on to her tightly.

"I get that but you need to study. You never know, people might not even ask."

Dawn didn't want to take that chance.

"Can we just wait another week? Until the semester starts again? Please?"

Buffy gave in and nodded. "Okay. Just make sure you get some study done here before then."

"Promise."

Buffy's smile disappeared as a wave of nausea overcame her.

"Dawn, take the baby now."

The teenager quickly leant forward and grabbed Alice before watching in alarm as her sister ran to the bathroom. She left her alone for a few seconds before deciding to make sure she was okay.

"Buffy? What is it? Are you okay?"

She heard nothing for a minute or so but continued to linger outside the bathroom door.

"Yeah."

The girl breathed a sigh of relief as Buffy emerged from the room, a little pale but generally okay.

"I knew that Indian food you had last night was dodgy."

Buffy shook her head.

"No. It wasn't that."

"You're sick then?"

Buffy smiled at her little sister's innocence.

"A week away on vacation and you forget that I'm 10 weeks pregnant."

Dawn suddenly felt stupid for her ignorance.

"Of course. Duh. Sorry."

"I was joking, dummy."

"Typical that Spike's working late. I'm sure he'd want to be here looking after you."

Buffy smiled weakly, wondering if whether that was true or not right now.

"Are you two okay now?"

"I don't know. He acted like everything was fine but he was...cold. It felt like he couldn't wait to get out of here."

"I'm sure that's not true. I don't think anyone can put into words what Spike thinks of you and what he would do for you. Everyone falls out. It doesn't mean anything. Don't worry about it."

"But I am worrying."

"Why?"

"Because I love him. I love him so much and when you love someone that much, every little thing matters both good and bad. Right now, not knowing where we stand is the only thing on my mind."

Buffy took her daughter back into her arms. "I guess its my fault for being such a jerk last night."

Dawn looked increasingly concerned.

"What did you say?"

"Things that I had no right saying. He was only concerned for you and I just accused him of being selfish."

Dawn physically cringed.

"Yeah. I now understand if he's pissed. He's spent these last 18 months being entirely selfless. Dedicating all his time to looking after you, giving us all a comfortable life. He's been anything but selfish."

"I know, I know."

"If you show him what you're showing me now, he'll know how beat up you feel about it."

"But until then, there's nothing I can do."

"Yes there is. You can take care of Alice, go for a shower."

"And then?

"I'm sure you'll think of something. Anything that'll take your mind off of things."

Buffy thought for a moment.

"I guess there is something..."

* * *

Spike walked through the door, late evening, to an empty main room. Something was simmering in the kitchen but there was no sight of Buffy or Dawn. The next thing he noticed was a bit of paper on the chair where he usually draped his duster. He knew immediately who the scrawly writing belonged to.

'Table.'

The vampire slipped the paper into his pocket and walked over to the dining room table. A row of candles covered the length of it and at the head lay a bottle of Jack Daniels and a single rose. It took him a few seconds to recall his actions from that morning and link them with the items before him.

"Rough day, huh?"

Spike looked up to see Buffy standing in the archway of their bedroom wearing a simple white knee length dress.

"How can you tell?"

"I know you too well I guess."

They were quiet for a minute or so, taking in each other's expressions, trying to tell what the other was thinking.

"Last thing I thought you'd encourage me to drink was Jack."

"Let's just say its a small fraction of the huge apology I owe you. I've got no excuses for what I said."

"What about your 'raging hormones?'"

The slayer bit her lip, humiliated. "As I said, no excuses."

She started to walk towards him.

"You've given me everything I ever dreamt of and more. You've never let me down once and I'm sorry that I couldn't do the same."

Spike went to interject but was cut off.

"But I promise that it's never gonna happen again. Just tell me what I can do to make it up to you."

The pair were face to face now, inches from each other.

"C'mere."

All Buffy's worries and insecurities melted away as Spike pulled her into a tight, comforting hug. She wound her arms around his neck and buried her flushed face in his cool throat.

"I don't half love you, slayer," he whispered, refusing to let go of her waist. The furthest they pulled away from each other was to join in a deep, passionate embrace. Eventually, Buffy needed to breathe and reluctantly pulled away, her lips still brushing her husband's. She momentarily glanced over her shoulder to see a gleeful looking Dawn sitting at the top of the stairs. She gave Buffy a wink before disappearing into her room again.

"So..." Spike started. "Apart from Jack Daniels, what else did you stock the fridge up with while I was gone?"

His wife looked sheepish.

"Please tell me your cravings are cheap this time?"


	19. Change In The Game

A/N: I dedicate this chapter to my long suffering beta who I haven't nearly mentioned enough. Thank you for always responding quickly when I throw sometimes long, random chapters at you from out of the blue. I do really appreciate it. I owe you, Laura

* * *

"You sure you don't need anything, love?"

Buffy shook her head, not really wanting to speak. She just reached for his hand and squeezed it, hinting that she wanted him to stay.

The couple had spent the last half hour sat on the bathroom floor, Spike feeling helpless as sickness overcame his wife. The slayer was barely sleeping at the moment anyway so being jolted awake by the unpleasant sensation in her gut, at 3am, had really not been wanted.

She took the chance to lean back against the wall and relax. She didn't know how long she had before the next wave of nausea arrived.

"I think 'morning sickness' is the understatement of the century," she croaked. Spike smiled a little, rubbing her back soothingly.

"We knew it was gonna happen. We just had a nice delay for a few weeks."

Spike pulled Buffy into his arms, gently, being careful not to cause her too much discomfort.

"It's not forever and you know it. You just seem to get it a little worse than other people."

The following silence unfortunately left Buffy alone with her thoughts.

"You think I should make another appointment? Just to make sure that everything's normal? I mean, something could be wrong this time."

"Maybe. If that's what you feel's best."

"You think I'm overreacting don't you?"

Spike shook his head.

"No. I think you're being aware. And that's not a bad thing."

"But not a good thing either?"

"Only because you stress yourself out sometimes."

Buffy pulled herself to her feet and took a good look at her ghostly face in the mirror. She was a total mess. She scooped her hair back into a scrawly bun before splashing handfuls upon handfuls of water on to her face.

"How are you feeling now?" Spike asked, still in his position on the floor. "You gonna try and get some sleep?"

The slayer took a deep breath, in and out.

"I guess. I'll grab some covers and bring them in."

Spike gave her a confused look. "You don't have to sleep in here y'know."

"Well, I don't fancy tripping over, if I have to run in, again."

Spike still thought she was being a bit too cautious but wasn't going to argue.

"Better strip the bed then."

"I'll only need a couple of blankets. The floor's heated, remember? And I'm not letting you freeze, vampire or not."

"Oh I won't. I'm joining you, love. Never spendin' another night without you again."

Buffy smiled. Bad poet her ass. He always knew the right words to say.

* * *

Buffy admitted, their makeshift bed wasn't the comfiest set up she'd ever slept in but it wasn't awful either. Weirdly, Spike didn't seem to have much of a problem with it and was asleep in mere minutes. It took the slayer a while longer, her stomach still not completely settled. She pulled the sheets up to her face, trapping the warmth in and snuggling further against Spike's chest as he unconsciously draped an arm over her middle. The traces of bile in her throat were enough to make her start feeling queasy again but she took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut in attempt to push the feeling aside. And strangely enough, on a matress made of blankets, on her bathroom floor, Buffy had her best night's sleep in days...

* * *

She awoke the next morning, before Spike, and silently snuck into the kitchen. Her stomach was begging to be fed but she couldn't think about food. Not even the blessing that were cup noodles. The faint odour of burnt bacon, from Dawn's cooking the night before, still hung in the air, not helping Buffy's adamancy not to eat. But she needed to eat something. No matter how much she didn't want to. She had a second little life to put first again. She continued to rummage through the fridge and numerous cupboards but nothing seemed to appeal to her in the slightest so she decided to abandon her unsuccessful hunt for a while. She checked on Dawn, who unsurprisingly was still asleep, and Alice who was awake yet quiet. That was unusual for her. She was sat upright, chewing a blanket and gurgling softly to herself. Her daughter looked up, confused for a moment, and then smiled at her, dropping the blanket. Buffy returned her grin.

How did she end up with such a sweet, beautiful baby girl? What did she ever do to deserve the life she had? The slayer knew that Spike would be shutting her right up if he was hearing her say this but she honestly wondered sometimes how she'd gotten from there to here.

* * *

She was snuggled on the couch with Alice, singing a lullaby to her, with a news program on TV humming in the background, when Spike found them. She didn't notice him approaching them, slowly and continued to coo over her gleeful child as she giggled and clapped her tiny hands.

"How long have you been awake then?" the vampire asked, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Couple o' hours. I thought about coming back to bed but someone looked too cute not to cuddle."

Both sets of eyes went to Alice, who stared right back at them with a blank, thoughtful expression.

"Can't blame you for that. You're huggable alright, aren't you, kitten?"

Alice wasn't listening anymore. She'd been distracted by a butterfly that had just flown in through the window and she was trying desperately to reach for it. Before Buffy knew it, Spike had snuck up on the creature and carefully captured it in his hands. He crouched down next to his daughter and opened his hands, extremely slowly, fraction by fraction. Alice stared in awe at the beautiful jewel blue insect, gently fluttering it's wings. Her bright eyes widened. Buffy grinned at her husband, stroking Alice's hair. The girl went to grab the butterfly but startled it, causing it to fly through the gap in Spike's hands. By complete chance, it landed on Alice's nose, causing grins all round. Alice's didn't stick around for long, however, as she frantically brushed the butterfly off, the sensation not familiar to her. She began to cry as the unfamiliarity of what had just happened, sunk in.

"Oh, hey now, sweetie." The concerned mother laid her daughter down in her arms, knowing that she found comfort in this position. "Butterfly won't hurt you."

"Mom's right, princess. Nothing scary here. Apart from your Aunty Dawn's cooking."

"I blame my teacher," Dawn explained, walking down the stairs. Buffy glared at her sister's indirect comment towards her.

"Daw!" Alice squeaked, forgetting her tears. She repeated herself several times, noticing the pride on her parents' faces.

"How's my favourite niece doing this morning?" she asked.

"Apart from being scared half to death by a butterfly, she's good." Spike replied on his daughter's behalf.

"Do I get my cuddle then?"

Spike lifted Alice from Buffy's lap and passed her to Dawn, giving the baby a kiss on her temple as he did so.

Buffy was becoming visibly more peaky by the minute which hadn't gone unnoticed by Spike.

"You eaten anything?"

She shook her head.

"No. Not yet. Everything I found, my stomach just totally told me not to go there."

"Yeah, but you haven't tried this..."

Spike took Buffy by the hand and guided her to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" she asked, suspiciously.

"I know you and most foods don't exactly see eye to eye when you're in the family way so, I found this."

He opened the fridge and pulled out a pot of something. Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Its yoghurt. Yoghurt's probably one of the worst things you could've bought me."

"Yes, but this isn't just any old yoghurt. Dawn recommended it. She hates yoghurt too but apparently can't get enough of this."

The slayer didn't look convinced. "The last thing I need is more heaving."

"But you've got to try and eat something. If you don't like it, I won't push."

She scowled at him with pouty lips. "Fine."

The vampire retrieved a spoon from the drawer and scooped out a spoonful of the viscous, pale pink stuff. Why was she letting Spike feed her, like a child refusing to eat their vegetables? The cold metal of the cutlery brushed her tounge and she squeezed her eyes shut, preparing for a foul taste. It was just about bearable. The flavour was sweet yet tangy and the texture wasn't too slimy. It was smooth and creamy. It wasn't actually too bad, actually. The burst of the various fruity flavours exploded on her tounge, awakening all her tastebuds. Most foods she had at this stage of pregnancy became tasteless and therefore unpleasant to eat but this. This was something else. It was gorgeous!

"Mmm," she moaned, savouring every last morsel. "Holy cow, that's good."

Spike looked as smug as could be and put the pot and spoon down on the counter.

"You need to try that."

A pleased look crept on to Spike's face. "Don't mind if I do."

Before Buffy worked out what he meant by that, Spike had bent down and leant in to kiss her. He immediately tasted the sweetness, gently licking her lips. Buffy was completely lost in the sensation and opened her mouth wider, allowing him further access. He gladly complied and crushed his lips further against her's, his tounge now mingling with his wife's. She tasted of strawberries and mangoes. Maybe even a little hint of kiwi. The slayer wound her arms around his neck, holding him to her with all the strength she had. Her husband recognised her need for air, even if she didn't right then.

"You're right. Does taste good."

Buffy smirked, chest rising and falling as she caught her breath.

"I'd call you a pig but I'm not exactly complaining."

"I noticed," he mumbled, nuzzling and nipping at her throat. Buffy pulled away when she felt a strange, sudden thump.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" he responded, still teasing her flesh and not really paying attention. She stayed on high alert when she felt it again.

"No, seriously, what is that?"

The vampire pulled away, not sure what he was meant to be listening or looking out for. They waited a few more seconds before Buffy felt it again, louder and longer this time. The sound seemed to be passing through her body from her hand. The hand resting against Spike's chest. Her eyes widened, and she held her breath. Spike seemed to feel it too that time and placed his hand over his wife's. Neither were sure what was happening until they heard the sound again. And again. And again, the rhythm picking up until it sounded like...

"A heartbeat," Buffy whispered. Spike shook his head in disbelief. He could feel it but he didn't believe it.

"Spike, you're heart's beating." She reached up to touch his face. "And you're warm."

He was too stunned to say anything.

Buffy lifted his arm and traced the faint scars, of the Ravix's bite on his forearm, with her fingers.

"I knew it." She couldn't help but seek out his pulse point, tears spilling down her cheeks as she did so. He looked so scared. So worried about what was happening to him.

"Hey," she soothed, cupping his face with one hand. "Its okay. You're okay. You're alive..."


	20. Out Of Gas

5 and a half months later...

* * *

"I will drive this car to the hospital myself if I have to but I am not giving birth in a fucking gas station!"

Spike was doing his best to comfort his terrified, pain stricken wife but she was inconsolable. Weeks of careful planning, to make sure that she was in hospital at the right time, were ruined when she went into labour 2 weeks early.

"Please just fill the car up and let's go!" she screeched. She was determined not to let an empty fuel tank prevent her from having her baby in a safe environment.

Spike was back in minutes, visibly terrified too. His heart hadn't beaten this loudly since becoming human again so he was still struggling to adjust to that. He immediately pulled away from the station and they were on their way again.

"How far away are we?" Buffy panted. Honestly, Spike wasn't entirely sure.

"Not too far, I don't think. Just hold on for a bit longer."

"Try tellin' fighter that," she snapped as she endured another contraction.

"You counting how far apart they are?" he asked, hinting to her contractions. Buffy looked incredulous.

"Oh, I've got no idea why that might've slipped my mind. Its not like I've been in constant pain for the last half an hour!"

Spike's mouth pressed into a thin line and Buffy was instantly full of regret.

"Sorry," she moaned.

"Forget it, pet. You don't need to apologise."

The pair both spotted a sign indicating that the hospital was close. Less than a couple of minutes away. Spike put his foot down.

"Hang in there, love..."

* * *

Buffy had been in the labour room, approaching 4 hours and her midwife was having no luck.

"Buffy, you're fully dilated but you're baby's head is too big to be delivered naturally. I'd strongly recommend a C-section."

The slayer immediately shook her head.

"No! Just give me more time."

Spike was crouched at her bed side, his hand going numb from holding her's for so long.

"Buffy, the doc knows what he's doing."

"I said, no! I'd rather be in labour for another 6 hours than put this baby through surgery. Its more risky!"

The midwife and Spike shared a concerned look.

"Right. But you're not doing fighter any favours by dragging out the inevitable. Doctor's dealt with this stuff before. You need this op. You can trust him. Trust me."

Buffy looked on the verge of tears for the dozenth time that day.

"Fine. Please, just be careful."

The midwifery team immediately started preparing for her movement to surgery.

"You have my word, Mrs Pratt," the doctor assured her. The mother to be tried to sit up as her trolley was wheeled away and Spike fell behind. She called out to him but luckily, he was only hidden from view.

"Not goin' anywhere, baby. I'm right here."

"Can he come in with me?" Buffy asked a nurse along side her.

"Of course he can, sweetheart." Her Spanish accent was oddly comforting and friendly. She looked to Spike. "Better get scrubbed up, dad. We can't wait long."

Spike nodded, increased his pace and ran off. Buffy tried to grasp his hand. "Don't go!"

The nurse took her hand instead. "He's just gone to put on some scrubs. He'll be in surgery when you get there."

* * *

Buffy couldn't feel any pain but man, was she uncomfortable. The constant prodding and poking sensations in her lower half were awful. Luckily, the screen in front of her prevented her from seeing anything unpleasant. Spike was stood at the head of the table, stroking her hair and cheek as she waited for her baby's cries for what felt like hours. Within 15 minutes, the prodding and poking had stopped and nothing seemed to be happening. She looked up to Spike who was looking straight ahead, all colour draining from his face. She tried her best to see past the screen but was unable to.

"Spike, what's going on?"

He moved his mouth but nothing came out, his eyes following one of the nurse's movements, as she started to slowly walk towards them, a bundle in her arms. Why wasn't fighter crying? Oh no.

"Spike!"

All of a sudden, cries filled the air and Spike breathed the biggest sigh of relief, in turn causing Buffy to relax.

"Congratulations." She handed the baby to Spike, carefully.

"It's a boy."

Spike crouched down beside Buffy and laid the child down on his side on Buffy's chest. She reached out to brush the boy's cheek as he continued to wail but he seemed to calm down, almost immediately, at his mother's touch.

"He's got your eyes, Spike."

The baby grinned, squinting as he did so.

"Well, he's got your cute little dimples when he smiles, love."

Buffy tried to pull their bundle of joy closer so that he nuzzled her neck but she wasn't very successful, considering that this wasn't the best position to hold him in anyway.

"You owe me ten bucks. I told you we were having a boy."

Spike gave her the biggest smile she'd seen from him in a long while, then. The stitching up part seemed to take a lot longer than the delivery but Buffy was so lost in her baby boy, that she barely even noticed.

She was about to be wheeled back when Spike took the baby away, keeping him safe and secure in his arms. Another nurse was now by her side. Not the friendly one. This one's tone was harsher. Less welcoming.

"Mrs Pratt, we're taking you and your baby to recovery now. There's nothing to worry about. You just need plenty of rest and recuperation time."

The slayer nodded, completely relaxed and peaceful. Spike would momentarily arrive with a happy, healthy fighter, she was in absolutely no after birth pain...yet. All the worries she'd been holding on to for the last few months had vanished and everything was perfect. She only had to wait a moment, in the room she was calling home for the next three days, before Spike entered.

"We've got a lively one here, love. Nothing like his sister. Hasn't even rested his eyes yet."

"Wow. Another thing he doesn't get from either of us."

Spike perched next to her on the bed before passing over the newborn. He was virtually clean, fidgeting and wiggling about.

"Gonna be a handful aren't ya, little guy?" he whispered, tapping his son's nose, playfully.

"Alice is gonna be taken with him."

"If Dawn doesn't steal him off of us all first."

The slayer stifled a yawn.

"I'll let you feed him and then get some sleep. Can't imagine what you've gone through today."

"What happened to never spending another night without me?"

Spike was surprised she remembered that.

"I want you to stay. There's enough room."

"Alright. Just gimme a minute. Better phone Dawn. She'll kill me if I don't keep her updated. You up for her visiting tomorrow?"

She nodded. "You bet'cha."

Spike looked at their baby again. "Definitely got your smile..."

* * *

A/N: We're approaching our final few chapters now but it looks like a happy ending for our favourite slayer and (former) vampire...right?


	21. Introductions

A/N: Just to clear up possible confusion, it is now March 2007. Buffy and Spike have been together for roughly 2 years and Alice is 14 months old.

* * *

Buffy and Spike were greeted by a series of shouts and party popper explosions as they walked in through their front door, 3 days later. Willow, Xander, Giles and Dawn were all gathered around the entrance, Alice also standing but with her Aunty Dawn's assistance. Buffy looked to her sister and then her husband, assuming their guests' arrival was down to them. Spike tried to look innocent.

"Surprise?"

She couldn't keep the smile off her face then. Alice began to walk, wobbily, towards them. She was a keen learner but she couldn't walk long distances yet. She called out to her dad and he wasted no time in sweeping her up into his arms.

"How you doing, kitten?"

She knew several basic words but mostly pointed and crawled, to what she was thinking about, to communicate. In this instance, she clapped her hands to show her excitement.

"Now, me and mom have got an important job for you. You're gonna be a big sister."

Alice clapped her hands again, not really aware of what was being said to her. Of course, she'd noticed that something hadn't been normal about the size and shape of her mother's belly, over the past few months but it hadn't quite occurred to her that she had a sibling on the way.

Spike carried her over to Buffy and the squirming bundle in her arms before letting Alice take a minute to overcome her shyness. She'd always been a bit anxious when it came to meeting new people. She started to stare down at the baby in fascination after a while. She'd never seen someone younger than her before.

"He's your little brother, princess."

"Br..." She started trying to repeat the word but experienced some difficulty.

Willow, Xander and Giles were touched by the affection shown in the close knit family. They'd all come so far in the past couple of years.

The little boy's eyes fluttered open and he gazed upon his sister for the first time. Alice buried her face against Spike's shoulder when he did this, coming over shy again but looked back when her father took her hand.

'It's alright, sweetie." Buffy tried to reassure her daughter.

Alice looked to Spike for reassurance again and he nodded. She looked to her baby brother again before reaching out and touching his hand, hesitantly. The newborn squeezed her finger in return and she giggled.

"We gonna let your mom sit down now, yeah?"

He put Alice down and accompanied her as she waddled back to Dawn. In the mean time, everyone else's attention went back to Buffy and the baby.

"Oh, Buffy he's beautiful!" Willow interjected.

Xander nodded in agreement. "Spike was right about him having your smile, Buff. And he's got Dawn's round nose."

Dawn scowled at him. "Hey!"

"I meant that it was cute!" He tried to defend himself, quickly.

Giles had stayed quiet up until that point.

"He's the spitting image of his father."

It warmed Buffy's heart to hear her watcher say something like that. Never in a million years did she expect him to be so accepting of Spike. Even the ex vampire turned his head round fractionally as he overheard the observation.

"Isn't he just," Buffy agreed.

"Do you wanna hold him?"

Giles looked a bit apprehensive at first, not wanting to keep apart mother and child, but she was insistent and placed the baby in his arms.

"Beware of Willow," she whispered. "She'll have fighter off of you in a heartbeat."

"Fighter?"

Only then did Buffy realise that her son's nickname didn't make sense to anyone but her and Spike.

"Oh. Right. Yeah. We didn't know whether we were having a boy or a girl so we thought a nickname was fitting. We decided that he was our little fighter. That he would fight to stay with us."

"Have you decided on a name?"

She shook her head. "Nope. None. God knows we've tried to think of some ideas but nothing's seemed right."

"Well, there's no rush." He began to rock the child back and forth as he started to become fidgety again. Xander knew that he had a long wait for hugs, with the baby, so had started up a conversation with Dawn and Spike was playing with Alice, by her playpen, just across the room.

"How about Trystan?" Willow suggested. Buffy looked back to the wicca.

"He looks like a Trystan, don't you think?"

Buffy coughed low in her throat. She wasn't sure Willow was the best person to talk to about normal baby names.

"I think I should talk to Spike first. He might have some more ideas."

Dawn ushered Spike and Buffy to the couch, before heading upstairs, insisting that they sit and relax. For once, Buffy was all too happy to let the others tell her what to do. She was still in pain from her surgery and was incredibly exhausted. She moulded into the couch, as she sat down and closed her eyes, her baby boy still resting peacefully in her arms. She could sleep right here and now. But she had guests to entertain and two children vying for her attention.

"Hey," Spike started, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

"If you need the rest, go to bed. Don't worry about Alice or fighter. We've got 'em."

The slayer looked at the tiny child in her arms and brushed his cheek with her thumb.

"But what if he needs anything..."

"I'll wake you," Spike finished for her, recalling the drill from last time. The slayer breathed a sigh of relief. She was more tired than she was letting herself believe.

"Thank you," she whispered, so quietly she might as well have mouthed it. Spike pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, his warm breath still surprising her even after all these months. She twisted her head to face him so that their lips met fully. She smiled against them.

"Never gonna get used to this."

"Tired of what?" he mumbled, very gently nipping her bottom lip.

"This," she started, bringing one hand to touch his cheek. "You. Really, genuinely warm with a heartbeat." Her hand moved down across his chest.

"You're tellin' me?"

Willow arrived back, from the kitchen, with a tray of drinks, letting out a gasp.

"No smooching in front of the baby! They pick up on everything!"

Buffy reluctantly pulled away from her husband, enjoying the moment.

"He's too little to understand, Will. Relax."

Willow didn't seem to be listening.

"You never know..." she continued, placing the tray down, Xander and Giles now also emerging from the kitchen, to see what all the commotion was about.

"Sleep," Spike interjected, suddenly. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Okay, bossy." She planted a kiss on her son's forehead before placing the newborn in Willow's arms.

"Be good, you."

Her husband accompanied her to the bedroom, half tempted to join her in a mid afternoon siesta.

"Think Dawn can cope with a house full of people on her own? Could do with some kip, myself."

"I'm sure she'd love to play hostess," Buffy responded, kicking off her shoes and crawling under the covers. She let her eye lids flutter shut and sighed into the pillow, finally able to relax in the comfort of her own bed. Her painkillers were beginning to kick in too. She underestimated the extent of post cesarean pain before her epidural wore off. Spike suddenly slid in next to her, pulling her close and kissing her throat.

"Could stay here for days," he admitted. Buffy mumbled in response, half asleep yet deep in thought.

"James," she whispered. Spike lifted his head.

"What, love?"

"We should call him James."

The ex-vamp slowly brought his head back to the pillow.

"James."

"Do you like it?"

He smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"It's so simple, so normal. I can't believe we never thought of it before. Alexander's a nice middle name too."

Spike looked partially horrified.

"You wanna name our kid after the whelp?"

Buffy swatted him lightly on the arm.

"That wasn't the idea. But even if it was, there wouldn't be a problem with that. Right?" The tone in her voice took a slightly serious tone.

"Guess not."

The slayer sighed.

"Xander knows what you'd do for me, what you'd do for the kids. You guys need to let go of the past and get along! I know you can."

Spike pulled the covers over her head and pinned them there.

"Thought you were here to sleep, woman,"

Buffy pulled the sheets back down again.

"Fine, be like that. But just think what it would mean to Dawn. And Alice! Her daddy and Uncle Xander getting along!" She fluttered her eyelids as she snuggled up to her husband.

"Nope, don't bring the squiblet into this. Me and Harris do get on now, but we're hardly the best of pals."

"I'm not asking you to be. Maybe just go out for a drink or something."

Spike shot her a glare, feeling uncomfortable with the idea.

"I'll think about it."

She smiled and rewarded him with a kiss.

"Thank you. It means a lot."

He began rubbing a tender spot, at the base of her spine, through her shirt.

"I know, baby. Whelp ain't that bad, anyway."

She laughed softly. The couple's eyes slowly began to flutter shut when Dawn walked in with a tearful James.

"Sorry, guys but the baby won't calm down. We've tried everything we can think of."

Buffy whimpered into Spike's shirt.

"No rest for the wicked, hey, love?" he reminded her, heaving his heavy bones up.

"Think we'd forgotten what the first few weeks were like..."


	22. Epilogue

"No. Stop. You've got. To go to work."

Buffy was finding it difficult to push her husband away as he smothered her with kisses.

"Still got 10 minutes before I have to leave," he whispered, seductively, dipping his head down to her throat. Buffy smiled but sighed.

"We can't anyway. Not yet. Doctor's orders."

The hand roaming her stomach stopped over her c-section scar. He sighed with her.

"I know. Another 4 weeks yet."

"You're counting?"

"And some."

Buffy's heart swelled for him. She knew how much being close to her, in this way, meant to him

"I miss it too y'know. Being with you...it's amazing. Nothing else like it."

Still laying on top of her, he rested his head on her shoulder and she played with the curls at the back of his neck for a few minutes.

"I could stay here all day too but you've got to go to work and I've got two hungry children to feed."

"Are they awake?"

"I think Alice is, yeah. I better go before she wakes James up."

Spike eventually got up which allowed Buffy to scoop her robe, off of the floor and slip it on just as James began to wail.

She whispered something, meant for her son, very quietly under her breath. Spike was hot on her heels and turned his attention to a lively Alice when Buffy went to James. He couldn't stay too much longer so simply leant over her cot and placed a light kiss on her forehead before going over to bid his wife and son goodbye. A two week old James had calmed down slightly and was clinging onto his mother's robe as she held him close to her chest. He reached out to Spike as soon as he came close, however. Buffy noticed this.

"I think he wants you."

"Give 'im here, then. Gotta get goin'."

The slayer carefully handed over their boy.

"Take care of your mom, fighter. Don't forget to give 'er a break every now and then."

Buffy smiled and held out her arms as Spike passed the baby back.

"I'll see you later," she said just before kissing him, tenderly. "I love you."

"I love you too, pet..."

* * *

Epilogue:

"It's beautiful, sweetie." Buffy admired the drawing her daughter had handed her. The proud girl sat down on the blanket in front of her mother.

"That's daddy and that's Jamie," she said, pointing to each stick figure. The slayer smiled at Spike's stick figure's bright yellow crayon hair.

"I'm sure daddy'll love it," she giggled.

It was incredible how fast 6 years had gone by. James had just started school. Buffy and Spike had taken the necessary measures to keep at just the two children, especially now Spike's work load had increased and Dawn had moved out. She was still local but much to Spike's reluctance, she'd moved in with her long term boyfriend. Buffy had grown to like the guy in question but it was going to take a long time for him to prove himself to Spike. She didn't think he felt anyone would be good enough for his 'little bit.'

Buffy wrapped her arms around Alice and played with her long, chocolate brown hair. She was only seven but so beautiful. So, so beautiful. The apple of both her mom and dad's eyes. The tide lapped at the shore as Buffy wrapped the blanket further around her little girl, the sand between their toes.

"Are you cold, baby?"

Alice shook her head.

"No. I like it out here."

"Well, it's getting late. Not too long before bedtime."

Alice pouted and curled up more.

"Hey, now."

A voice came from behind them. Both girls looked round to see Spike walking out on to the beach, James on his shoulders.

"Now, none of that," he continued.

"The beach'll still be here tomorrow."

"But the stars won't be the same," she whimpered, giving her parents sad eyes. She definitely got those from her mother.

"But you've got that big project to show at school tomorrow and you need your beauty rest, don't you?"

Alice still didn't look convinced.

"What's that, James?" Buffy asked, looking to the object in his hand. Spike placed his son down.

"He got a gold star today, didn't you fighter?"

James smiled proudly and nodded, clutching the badge. A huge grin spread across Buffy's face. She reached out to him.

"Well done, sweetie."

James bounded across the sand and sat down next to his mom, Spike joining them shortly after. He put his arm around Buffy, pulling their children closer in the process. The sleepy kids leant on their parents as they stared out at the ocean.

"Another day gone, huh?" Buffy sighed. Spike brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Chin up. Plenty more days to come..."


End file.
